Darkroom
by ohhai
Summary: Near has tried to move on and start a new life after the Kira case was over. It seems that sometimes you can never completely lose your past. this summary sucks but I'm trying to not give spoilers! MattxNear and more , mild rape. LEMONS. YAOI.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've been working on this one for a while. I'm actually a bit nervous posting this right now. I hope you guys like it. You're my biggest fans!

Disclaimers:  
-I don't own Death Note or it's characters  
-This is a yaoi fic. Which means GAY SEX, and by that I mean guys doing each other, and by doing each other I mean....  
-Some slight violence at times, as well as mild rape. nothing too brutal I promise.

Darkroom

Chapter 1

He was sitting on the bone colored carpet amidst a sea of papers strewn haphazardly around his feet. He stared pensively at the one in his hand, examining a dark, grainy photograph of someone. He squinted trying to make something out of the subject's features, but unfortunately there was nothing useful to see. One could tell the figure was human, but that was about it. He sighed in disappointment before saying "Dammit Roger." under his breath, placing the paper down and grabbing another similar one, placing it close to his nose.

He jumped slightly as the cascading sound of the doorbell shattered the silence. Ice blue eyes looked upwards at the brushed stainless steel analog clock that hung on the wall above the dining room table. He glanced over at the white notebook computer to his right and effortlessly typed a few keystrokes. A window opened that showed the image of the person on the other side of his door. The shock of red hair seemed familiar enough. He quickly gathered the mess of papers into a pile and placed the computer on top of them, closing the lid.

Near's heartrate quickened as he rose to his feet and surveyed the room for anything he might have left out before his socked feet shuffled across the room towards the front door. A sweaty palm gripped the door handle, turned and then swung the door open, revealing the comparatively tall and thin redhead on the other side.

"Hey." The man said, wearing a tight black and white striped long sleeve shirt, and skinny blue-jeans.

"Come in." Near said, making eye contact only for a moment before his eyes drew to the ground. He stepped aside to let the visitor in. He was already taking his shoes off as Near closed the door and locked it.

"Mind if I grab a drink?" The handsome redhead said.

"Help yourself." Near replied, sheepishly standing next to the door and still looking downwards, looking like apparition.

Near's white locks of hair, white shirt and pants, and nearly white complexion gave him a air of purity, a look of innocence that the redhead found hard to ignore, even though he mused that the boy almost looked invisible standing in front of equally white walls. He decided to stop staring and head off towards the kitchen. He wasn't there to make Near feel uncomfortable anyway. He opened the fridge and reached for a bottle of spring water, twisting the cap off quickly and taking a few large gulps.

He strolled casually from the kitchen into the rest of the large studio apartment. Near was found sitting at the foot of his queen sized bed, which was situated in front of a wall of large, ceiling high windows, the grayish cityscape stretching far into view underneath a hazy overcast sky. Near sat with one knee drawn to his chest, a hand propped on his knee, and his head tilted towards it so his thin fingers could twirl around his loosely curled locks of hair. His eyes were still fixed at what seemed like nothing in particular, and he used his other hand to beckon the redhead closer.

"No sense in waiting I suppose." The young man said as he slowly approached.

Near's breath hitched as he felt a warm hand wrap around his thigh, and then another on his shoulder. He made no movement though. No other discernible reaction. Knowing how the game was played the redhead pushed Near down onto the bed and climbed on top of him, pressing his denim covered crotch against the smooth fabric of Near's white pajamas. Near whimpered as he tightly shut his eyes and tensed his muscles, feeling a hand wrap around one of his wrists and pinning it above his head. He pushed back just slightly, not intending to show any real sort of resistance. It was all part of the game afterall. He wanted to be ravaged right then and there, he just didn't want to make it seem all that easy.

His breath started coming in pants as he felt lips attack his neck, sucking on the smooth flesh hungrily. He opened his eyes to a faceful of red hair, and used his free hand to grab a handful of it, pulling on it gently as he inhaled the masculine scent of shampoo and sweat.

Near felt the hand leave his wrist, and start expertly unbuttoning the white cotton shirt adorning his lanky frame until it was completely open. His torso exposed to more pleasurable attacks from above. Sucking. Licking. It was all too much to bear as Near arched his back while soft, unintelligible sounds hissed through his teeth. He was hard, painfully hard as he strained against fabric which was getting slightly wet at the front. He felt strong hands caress his thighs. It was almost too much to bear at this point, and he knew that it hadn't even begun yet.

The sounds of a belt buckle being opened followed by the sound of denim sliding down legs was a treat to his ears. He felt his own pants being slid from his body at long last, releasing him from the strain.

"Yes... Yes...Do it...Do me...." He growled.

Not a moment later he felt the redhead enter him. Near clawed and gripped the bedsheets as he was further penetrated. Once the burning tightness subsided he wrapped his legs around his lover's torso and pulled him in further, crying out indecisively with pleasure and pain. He wasn't sure which he loved more.

What started as gentle rocking quickly progressed into rhythmic pounding with Near yelping out loudly every time the redhead plunged into him. His creamy white skin was now a tinge of pink and shimmering with sweat under the designer halogen lighting as he felt the ecstasy permeate his entire body. The pressure started building in his loins, something that surprised him since he hadn't even so much as touched himself yet, but his climax was coming quickly. There was no mistaking it.

"Erghh..yeah.... Harder.... I'm almost there..... Don't stop..." Near seethed.

The pressure was building up unbelievably fast. Near clenched his glassy blue eyes and threw an arm around the redhead's neck pulling him closer towards him.

"OH Matt!!!!" Near cried out as he released all over himself, covering his torso and chest, droplets of his pleasure rolling gently down his sides and soaking into the sweaty bedsheets below.

It was nearly too much. Near's vision started to get fuzzy as he fought to catch his breath. He felt his skin get cold. The sound of his own heart pounding was the only thing he could hear at this point. He was worried he'd leave reality for a while if he didn't fight to regain control over himself.

He lifted his head and focused on the figure before him...still _inside_ of him. He pushed him away, shuddering as the length pulled out of him, and like any good drug, he felt himself crashing, feeling worse for wear before this all had started.

"Could you hand me something to clean myself up with?" Near asked, afraid to move around too much and make a bigger mess than he already had to clean up. His discarded shirt was tossed his way. Near caught it in his hand and used it to dry himself off. He knew he would need a shower anyway so he didn't waste much time trying to make himself perfect.

The redhead started getting dressed again, Near studied him from the corner of his eye as he pulled the striped shirt over his head.

"The shirt... Was it like you wanted?"

Near nodded in response, pulling his own pants back on.

"You know. I think it might be about time for you to get over this Matt guy. He's been dead for how long now?"

Near paused and shot him an icy glare, shocked by the sheer audacity of this man...this _stranger_ who looks less and less like Matt the more he stared at his face.

"I don't pay you to think." He replied, getting up from the bed briskly. He grabbed a wad of cash from the nightstand and handed it to the redhead, who shrugged before shoving it in his pocket. Near stared coldly to his side, "I think we're done here. I'll call if I need you again."

Near walked him to the front door and let him out. He had barely closed and locked the door before he felt the wave of anguish overcome him. It was always this way. The intense moment of pleasure was met by pain and misery afterwards tenfold. He buried his face in his hands as his back slid down the door until he was a crumpled shirtless heap on the floor, his tears soaking into the carpet.

A/N:  
Yep. Lemon right off the bat. Did I fool you? Did I? Did I? XD

PLEASE REVIEW. Even though this chapter is short and gives you nothing to go on really. Chapter 2 will be up REALLY soon. I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

Darkroom

Chapter 2

"Roger, I believe you're fully aware that these photos are imperative to this case. Now I'll ask again, what happened last night? That could've been a picture of myself and I wouldn't have realized it." Near said into the headset he was wearing while sprawled on the floor as usual in front of his bed.

"There was a short window of opportunity where the suspect was visible, and I couldn't focus fast enough. I think I might've had the aperture set wrong too." Roger said, dignified as always, his digitized image on the screen not even showing a hint of the annoyance he felt.

"You think?" Near asked sardonically.

Roger stayed silent for a moment as he allowed the boy one quarter of his age to chastise him. A difficult position to be in for sure, considering he practically raised Near, but as fate would have it, Near was the heir to this whole operation and thus it was his show. Besides, he could almost excuse his recent testiness considering the circumstances.

While Near hadn't been the quiet but sweet soul (he wasn't cold to everyone all the time) he was back in Wammy's house for quite some time, his attitude, his impatience, and sometimes downright rudeness was purely out of frustration. Frustration with life. Frustration with others inadequacies. Most importantly however this frustration was due to loss. Roger had suspected that Near and Matt had something going on between them after Mello had left, however he turned a blind eye to it. Both of them needed the companionship desperately and for the first time Roger saw Near come out of his shell. The redhead made Near happy. He completed him, and after his death Near didn't quite know how to handle it.

He was distant for a few months, communicating sparsely via e-mail only. He moved to a city strange to him with the intent of moving on, and he certainly put on a good show, but inside he never accepted it.

"I suppose I could have another go at it tonight. According to the case profile Montvac should be expected around 10PM." Roger said.

"Forget it. I'll go myself. Perhaps I expect far too much out of someone your age. My apologies."

Near disconnected the call and tossed the headset down on his keyboard. He rubbed at his temple with closed eyes for a moment before picking himself up from the floor and going to the door of his walk-in closet.

While Near didn't usually deviate from his usual attire of what essentially were white pajamas, he did have other types of clothes for when the situation required it. Sneaking out into the middle of the night for a covert reconnaissance mission was one of those situations where white pajamas would definitely not be the preferred outfit of choice. So he pulled from some of the darker corners of the closet and came up with a pair of black pants, a black fedora, and a knee length black trenchcoat which he bought to help make New York winters a bit more survivable.

From the bottom of the closet he pulled out a camera bag and unzipped the lid, pulling out the digital SLR and a long lens. He screwed the lens onto the front of the camera with a satisfying 'click', and turned the apparatus on, before turning the lights in the closet off and shutting the door. He peered through the viewfinder and scanned the insides of the closet though a ghostly green perspective. Satisfied his night vision lens was working correctly, he turned the lights back on, dis-assembled the camera and stuffed it back into the bag before zipping the top closed again. He hefted the clothes he selected over his arm and carried everything out to the bed before starting to remove his pants. He slid the slim fitting dress pants over his legs and around his round globes before buttoning the waist. It fit a bit loosely on him as he had lost some weight recently. Nearly loose enough to require a belt in fact, which of course he didn't own. However it would make do for just one night. Next he pulled on the trenchcoat and the black, wide rimmed hat before making one last minute addition. He pulled open a drawer from the nightstand and pulled out a pair of narrow, black plastic rimmed glasses and setting them on the bridge of his nose.

He was almost afraid to look at himself in the bathroom mirror and to confirm his suspicions that he did in fact look as silly as he feared. It was at least enough for him to smile childishly at himself, trying to think of what clichéd TV detective he looked like the most. It served its purpose however, as he definitely wasn't easily recognizable for sure.

A glance at the clock showed it to be 9:00 PM, which meant he needed to get going if he wanted to be in position at the right moment. The target's location was actually nearly on the other side of the city in downtown Manhattan so it would take some time to get there. Once Near stepped outside into the balmy late-august night air he flagged down a passing taxi and climbed inside.

The financial district was somewhat quiet at this time of night. All the stock brokers and high rollers have long since gone home (or out drinking themselves into a coma) with the closing of the market being several hours ago. Near surveyed the area across the street from the building for a hiding spot. There wasn't much there to conceal him, and unfortunately while the area wasn't particularly well lit, it was well lit enough for him to be easily visible. Perhaps Roger wasn't so incompetent afterall, Near thought. This wasn't as easy as he hoped it would be.

Finding a set of bushes in the courtyard of the next building over, Near squatted into position, letting only the lens from his camera peek out over the top of the bushes. He felt so vulnerable like this, with nothing behind to obscure him. Nearly anyone would be able to see him if they were walking down the street. Pushing the glasses down the bridge of his nose he peered through the viewfinder at a figure seen walking in the distance. Sure enough, it was him, it was Montvac. This case might finally come to a close, Near thought. He clicked the shutter.

Focus.... and again,

"Click"

Coming closer,

"Click".

He turns his face in Near's direction,

"Click"

"I can see you, but you can't see me." Near whispered, a sudden outright cockiness making itself apparent.

Near's heart was racing. This was more exciting than he had ever imagined. The sense of danger, the fear of getting caught, and the absolute power he felt was amazing. His senses were heightened as the adrenaline coursed through his body. He hears something behind him, sounds like the shuffling of shoes on the ground. Could it be a security guard wondering what a made-for-TV spy might be doing hiding behind the bushes? Could it be an associate of his target sneaking closer with a blade for him to slit Near's throat with?

Frozen with panic, Near struggled to come to a decision. If he were to dart out from his hiding spot now, he would be discovered by Gaston Montvac, the man who's visage now filled Near's Compact-flash card, and potentially blowing the whole case to hell. If he were to stay he could be in great danger. There was no way for him to make a quick escape quietly. Once he leaped from the bushes he would have to run as hard and fast as he could, gigantic camera and all.

Thinking quickly, he whirled around with his camera pressed up against his face and started firing off the shutter rapidly. Not that a camera is such a dangerous weapon, but he figured such an unpredictable action might startle whoever was lurking behind him and at least buy him some time. For a moment he thought he saw something, saw someone through the green-lit image projected in the viewfinder. There was nobody there. Peering back over the bushes, he could see Montvac about to enter the building. He quickly fired off a few more shots focused on him when he felt a presence behind him. He could even feel the heat on the back of his neck. Through the corner of his eye he noticed a car driving up the street, and as it got closer Near recognized it as a taxi with its 'for hire' sign lit. He bolted out from the bushes and onto the middle of the street, flagging the taxi down wildly in the process. The cab skidded to a stop, the driver startled by a boy in a trenchcoat that suddenly darted out in front of him.

"Start driving please." Near said, locking the door behind him as he got inside. As the cab pulled away Near looked at where he just was, where he felt that strange presence behind him. There was nothing there. _Was it all in my head? Simply caught up in the moment? _He thought.

"Where are we headed, my friend?" The driver asked.

"Upper east side. 57th and 1st. Just drive around a little first."

"Being followed? You look like a private detective of some kind. What, were you staking someone out?"

"Something like that."

"Well it's either that or you're just coming back from a costume party." The driver clucked.

Near gritted his teeth as his face flushed in embarrassment. He wondered what he was thinking, going out in the middle of the night dressed in such a way to mess with potentially dangerous criminals. All he wanted at that moment was to be safely locked away inside the sanctuary of his own home, maybe even pull the covers over his head for good measure.

The cab pulled up in front of Near's apartment building. Near paid the fare and left before the driver could fire another snarky comment his way. Once inside he dropped the camera on the sofa and immediately stripped off his clothes, collapsing on the bed and pulling the sheets over him. He wasn't tired enough to sleep, still wound up from earlier's encounter. He wondered why at one point he bravely faced off with one of the most dangerous killers in history, yet now he was scared of his own shadow.

He was alone. Back then he had the support of an entire team of people. Rester, Giovanni, Lidner. He knew that he owes nearly everything to them, that his victory against Kira was just as much theirs as it was his. Possibly even more so. But now? Who did he have? Roger? Near realized shortly after he started working with Roger that the old man was far better suited as a caretaker at an orphanage than being his right-hand man, but it was just as well. After the Kira case, Near would've been perfectly happy to never work on another case again. But he needed this on some level. This was the only thing he had. Without Matt, he had nothing to come home to. No other reason to exist. For years he dreamed about reconnecting with Matt after the Kira case was over if he survived that fateful meeting at the warehouse and starting a new life with him.

_Damn Matt for getting involved. Damn Mello for involving him. _

Angrily he threw the covers off of him and got dressed in his usual white shirt and pants. He needed to shut off for a little while, to go somewhere else before he lost his mind. He knelt down in front of the sofa and reached underneath it, pulling out a box filled with roughly one thousand dominoes. Sitting indian style in front of the glass coffee table he began to stack them, one by one. He kept at it until he could barely keep his eyes open anymore and that they were so high he had to reach as far as his arm would stretch to add the last piece to the top.

Near admired his handiwork for a moment before expressionlessly flicking one of the bottommost pieces with his finger, sending the entire contraption tumbling down onto the table. Several of the pieces spilled over onto his lap, and with the same cold gaze he got up off of the floor and trudged to his bed where he climbed in and shut his eyes tightly against the still lit room and eventually put a spare pillow over his eyes.

Near always slept with the lights on lately, even though it made it more difficult to fall asleep at times. Perhaps it was a habit he got used to from working on the Kira case, where he often slept on the floor or in an office chair with the fluorescent lighting glaring overhead, or maybe he simply was scared of the dark, another of his numerous childlike qualities. Whatever the case, for some reason he found darkness unnerving. The light helped him feel less alone, less vulnerable, even if he had to fall asleep with a pillow over his face.

A/N: I promised the next chapter would be here shortly and here it is. I actually have more than half of the story written already. I hope the story seems a bit more interesting now with this chapter. Chapter one is very short and doesn't give much info to go on. I LOL'ed to myself thinking Near dressed that way. So freaking cute. He seems really depressed doesn't he? Thanks for reading. PLS review. I'm a review whore. Ja Ne.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm slightly disheartened by the lack of reviews from the previous chapter. I guess everyone was just very busy this week and didn't have time to let me know what they thought...right? Well anyway. Here's another, albeit short chapter. I hope this one illicits some response.

Darkroom  
Chapter 3

"Roger, I'm uploading the photos of the suspect to you now." Near said while sitting in his usual position on the floor, viciously typing keystrokes into the laptop.

"I'm guessing that last night was a success then. I must admit that I'm impressed." Roger replied, feeling somewhat defeated.

"Yes, while I'll admit that it was more difficult than I had initially thought, I suppose I was lucky in finding a good place to hide that offered a good vantage point."

"I suppose you weren't noticed by anyone then?"

Near swallowed as he sttared at the green-lit blur in the very corner of one of his pictures from the previous night, trying to not pause too long and give Roger a clue that something might've gone wrong. Besides, Near still wasn't sure if there was someone watching him last night, waiting silently in the shadows to assault him.

"No, everything went as planned." Near said.

"Excellent then. I'll use these to prepare the case file for our client. With any luck we'll be able to get a warrant against Montvac and this case will soon be closed. I'll keep you updated." Roger said before disconnecting the call.

Near leaned back against the bed, clutching a mug of coffee in his hands, another vice that he had picked up lately. As he took a careful sip of the hot liquid, his hands jolted at the sound of the doorbell, nearly spilling some of the coffee on his pristine white shirt. His eyes flitted to the screen of the laptop, which was linked to the apartment's security system, showing the downward view from the camera mounted above the door.

Stripes and red hair.

Near scowled.

"So now you don't even wait for me to call you first? You think I need you that badly? At 9 in the bloody morning?!" Near muttered to himself irritatedly.

He lifted himself up from the floor and shuffled over to the front door, ready to unleash a verbal barrage to the rent-boy who brazenly took it upon himself to come see Near, to make Near beg for it as if he were feeding an addiction.

Near had his words prepared. They were in the chamber and ready to fire with a twitch of his tongue. Something had told him to look in his eyes first before opening his mouth. Some sort of involuntary instinct that said _Wait! Don't start as soon as you open the door!_. He's glad he listened to that instinct because what he saw when he opened the door and looked upwards left his jaw hanging open.

"Hello Near." Matt said with a wide grin.

Frozen – Near was utterly frozen in time. Synapses started firing rapidly in his brain, trying to make sense of the sensory input being fed to them.

"M...Maa..." Near stammered, still unsure if what he was seeing was actually real.

Matt gently took hold of Near's shaking hands. The warm touch nearly breaking him as his heart raced and a tingling sensation took over his limbs. Matt pulled Near into an embrace. The feeling of Matt's warm body pressed against his finally broke his state of denial as he shut his eyes tightly against Matt's chest as tears began to flood out from his eyelids. He wrapped his arms around Matt as his body quivered and whimpered softly. Matt placed a gentle kiss on Near's head as he rubbed his hands up and down the trembling boy's back.

"I missed you." Matt simply said.

Near sobbed even harder against Matt, he wanted to say that he missed him too with his face muffled against his shirt, but the words simply wouldn't come out. The years of pent up emotion seeming to flood out of him all at once.

Matt slipped a hand underneath Near's shirt desperately wanting to feel his smooth bare skin and rubbed his back gently with his open palm. He felt Near starting to get heavier as his legs trembled.

"Come on, lets go inside." Matt said, lifting Near up before his legs finally gave out. Near instinctively wrapped his arms around Matt's neck and his legs around Matt's torso as he was carried inside the apartment, Matt shutting the door behind them. He carried Near over to the small breakfast table and chairs adjacent to the kitchen and gently set him down, keeling in front of him, and looking into Near's large dark eyes, all wet and glassy from the tears that simply wouldn't stop flowing. He rubbed some of the tears off of Near's cheek with his thumb as Near simply stared into Matt's crystal blue orbs. His face was mostly expressionless. The only indication of emotion being a solitary tear strolling down his face, followed by another.

"I thought you were dead." Near said, in nearly a whisper.

Matt smiled.

"I know. Everyone did. But I'm not. I'm right here with you."

"How? I saw.. I saw what happened to you! How did you survive..."

"Shhh..... it's a long story. I'll tell it to you but not just yet. Come here." Matt said, pulling Near into another tight embrace.

"I love you." Near said.

"I love you too."

A/N: I'm willing to bet a lot of you saw this coming. Actually I hope nobody did, but I'm sure it was transparent to some extent. I promise the rest of the story will be slightly less predictable. PLEASE REVIEW. Dont make me kill myself. Ok I'm kidding about that... but it will make me feel good.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Play dead. Don't move a freaking muscle or they'll keep shooting. _

Matt's inner voice screamed at him a command which was far easier said than done as he gritted his teeth so tightly he thought they might break. The pain in his right thigh screamed so badly, he didn't even notice the other hole in his left arm. Blood started to pool around him, and the cigarette that fell from his lips was extinguished by it as it landed on the crimson soaked pavement.

_Don't fucking move._

After an indeterminate amount of time, a careful peek from behind his goggles showed him that most of the gunmen had left in pursuit of Mello and Takada. That's when things got fuzzy, because while Matt had figured his number was up while lying in a pool of blood slumped against his bullet ridden car, he was pleasantly surprised when he came to with the muffled sound of sirens in his ears. He was silently thankful for the bulletproof vest Mello had given him earlier that night. The pain wasn't over however.

"Arghhh!!!" Matt screamed, unable to flail around try as he might, due to the straps restraining him to the stretcher.

"He's awake! I managed to slow the bleeding but we still need to get him to the ER as fast as possible." The paramedic said to the driver as he hovered over Matt, "You're going to be ok. I don't know what kind of stunt you pulled back there that got you shot up like this."

"Where are you taking me?"

"Tokyo General Hospital. We should be there in a few moments. I need you to stay still since you've lost a lot of blood. I'm surprised you're conscious actually." The paramedic hovering over him said.

It didn't take long for Matt to realize that there most certainly be police waiting for him once he arrived at the hospital. He decided he needed to move now while he still had the benefit of adrenaline coursing through what little of his blood remained.

"Please take these straps off of me. I need to call someone."

"It's safer for you if you're restrained."

"Please. I'm not going to go flailing about. I need to call my wife so she can meet me at the hospital. My phone is in my back pocket." Matt said, his eyes pleading.

The EMT stared at him for a moment before reluctantly releasing the straps holding him to the stretcher. Matt noticed the instant he tried to move that his left arm was incapacitated and that his right leg was absolutely killing him. This wasn't going to be easy, he thought.

"I'm sorry." Matt said before twisting his body on the stretcher to face the paramedic and walloping him with a strong kick to the center of the chest with his left leg. The medic fell backwards, smacking his head hard into one of the overhead compartments of the ambulance. He fell to the floor with his eyes closed to Matt's relief. Although he really hoped he didn't seriously injure the man, there was no way he was going to end up locked up. He was going to escape no matter the cost.

"Hey! What the hell!" The driver said while trying to look behind him to see what that loud noise was all about.

Matt grabbed a sharp looking syringe that he had found and quickly leaped to the front of the ambulance, wincing as pain in his right leg seared. To his relief, at least it seemed to be able to support his weight for short amounts of time. He just had to get through this. He placed the syringe to the man's neck. It didn't seem to be filled with anything actually, but he hoped it was threatening enough to get what he needed.

"Stop the ambulance." Matt said. The needle scraped against the driver's neck as they drove over a bump in the road. The sensation was alarming to both Matt and the ambulance driver, making both of their eyes widen.

"You don't need to do this. You need medical help. Let us get you to the hospital..."

"I don't want to hurt you. I really don't. Please stop the ambulance so I won't have to."

Matt's tone was deadly serious. The driver wasn't going to take any chances with his life. He didn't know what was in that needle, and he didn't want to find out. The ambulance came to a careful, slow stop.

"Unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door."

The man's hand was shaking as he unbuckled his belt, and once he had pulled the door handle, Matt braced himself against the passenger's seat and shoved as hard as he could. The medic fell out of the vehicle, landing in a pile next to it.

"Oww!!! Fuck!" Matt shouted as he hoisted himself behind the wheel.

Matt started driving with sirens wailing when he remembered the other paramedic was still in the back. He fumbled with the numerous switches on the dash until he was able to turn off the siren. He found a deserted alleyway. Perfect. Matt quietly turned down the narrow street and parked before agonizingly standing up again and making his way to the back of the ambulance, where the man still lay flat on his back. Matt gritted his teeth as he knelt down. The man still had a pulse and appeared to be breathing normally, something that had Matt quite relieved. He certainly didn't want to kill someone.

Opening the back door of the vehicle and dragging the man out, he almost fell on the ground with him as the weight was nearly too much to bear. Matt propped him up against the wall of a building, got back into the ambulance and took off, switching the siren back on once he reached the street.

"God damn you Mello for getting me into this!" Matt barked though gritted teeth.

He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and searched for a number that Mello had given him earlier, 'Just in case'. Matt wondered what Mello could've meant by that. Now he found out.

"_Hey Matt. Listen, if anything happens to you, don't go to the hospital. I know a doctor right __outside of Tokyo that can treat just about anything with no questions asked. He works for the Yakuza. Just mention my name."_

Matt's breath was starting to get shaky and his skin clammy as the effects of adrenaline started to wear off. He dialed. There was about 2 rings and then an answer.

"Hai. Soshiro Matazaki desu."

"I need help. Mello told me to call you in case I got into trouble." Matt said.

"What kind of trouble?" The doctor replied. Matt breathed a sigh of relief that he spoke English well.

"I've been shot. I really don't feel good. I'm starting to feel a bit lightheaded."

"Are you driving? What's with the sirens? Are you being followed by police?"

"No... I... I stole an ambulance. How do I get to you?"

"What street are you on? I'll stay on the phone and guide you. But turn that siren off, you're attracting too much attention." The doctor replied.

Matt switched the siren off and listened as the doctor told him what series of turns to make through Tokyo's many streets. Finally he was out of the crowded part of the city and could pick up some speed, hopefully not attracting the attention of the local police in the process.

_Ambulances don't get pulled over, do they?_ Matt wondered.

It was getting hard to breathe. He was extremely lightheaded due to the extreme blood loss and started to feel a bit nauseous. He fought like all hell to stay conscious, gripping the steering wheel tightly as the pain in his leg, and now his left arm was throbbing.

"There you are. I see you." The doctor said.

Matt stopped the ambulance in front of the waving man wearing a white labcoat. The doctor opened the door and caught Matt as he fell weakly out of the ambulance. He picked Matt up over his shoulder, smearing his pristine white labcoat with blood, and rushed inside his building, placing him on a stretcher in the back room. He started to leave hurriedly.

"Wh... Wait.." Matt said.

"Hang on! I have to go get rid of that ambulance! Just sit tight for 1 minute!"

"Uh... O... Ok..."

Matt didn't wake up for 2 weeks. The doctor had told him that he had come down with a serious infection, coupled with the severe bloodloss and trauma. He also said that Matt had become conscious several times throughout the course of his stay, but Matt couldn't remember a thing.

"So what have I missed?"

The doctor tossed a newspaper onto Matt's lap.

"_Is the Kira era over?_

_The sudden cease in Kira's activity has many supporters concerned. Also, the coincidental kidnapping of Lady Takada, who still is missing, seems to have many convinced that she was connected with Kira or perhaps Kira herself. Investigations on the matter are underway."_

Mello.

"Where's my phone?" Matt asked.

"I put all of your belongings on that table there, not that there was much."

Matt went to get out of bed but paused when he realized he was stark naked underneath the sheets. He looked at the doctor with shocked expression.

"Oh, get over it. I've seen everything already. I'll have to pick you up some clothes. I had to get rid of yours, being that they had holes in them and were covered in blood."

Matt limped his naked form over to the counter opposite his bed and grabbed his phone. Surprisingly the battery wasn't quite dead yet, although Matt questioned whether there would be enough juice to make one single phone call. He had to find out if Mello was alright. The fact that he hadn't visited Matt the whole time he was here meant either he was just as much of an asshole as Matt feared, or that he wasn't as lucky.

_"The number you're trying to reach is out of the service area. Please try your call again later."_

He was dead. There was no doubt in Matt's mind at this point. He didn't know if he should cry or not. He didn't know _what_ to do at that moment, except call Near. Mello's death would be painful. They grew up together, they shared many things. But Near? Matt shivered at the thought.

"Please....." Matt whispered as he dialed the number that Near gave him in secret.

"_The number you're trying to reach is out of the service area. Please try your call again later."_

_**Slam!!**_

Matt's fist crashed against the table as he snapped the phone shut. He breathed in deeply though his nose and exhaled slowly though his lips.

_He's not dead. Relax. You'll find him._

"I take it you have some business to catch up on. You're free to go. I owed Mello a favor or two, so this one is on me. Tell him that the next time wont be though."

"Mello's dead." Matt said plainly.

"Oh... well in that case....never mind." The doctor said, seemingly unaffected by the news.

Matt needed to do something with himself before he drove himself crazy. He hadn't the slightest clue where Near was and had doubts he would find him quickly as Near could be quite elusive when he needed to be. On top of that he was broke.

He returned to the apartment he and Mello had rented. It was just as they had left it on that fateful night. One of Mello's half eaten chocolate bars on the kitchen counter were a haunting reminder that the angry blonde was truly gone from this world.

Matt ended up finding a job as a waiter at a local Yakitori restaurant. It didn't pay much, but it was enough to keep a roof over his head, and as a bonus helped him work on his Japanese, which was a bit rough to say the very best. Once he'd finally saved up enough money for a plane ticket to England, he showed up at Wammy's house doorstep, just as he had so many years ago.

Mostly fresh faces, and a few old ones as well.

"Hey Matt!" One of the kids called out to him. Matt didn't believe he had ever spoken to the boy, but he waved back in the interest of politeness.

He rounded the corner to Roger's office and reached for the door.

"Can I help you?"

Matt whirled around to see an old man staring back at him. Not Roger, however. This was a different old man entirely.

"Where's Roger?"

"He's away for the moment. Who shall I say is asking?"

"Matt....umm... Mail Jeevas. I used to live here. You can look up my record if necessary." Matt said, sticking his hand out for a handshake, an action which wasn't even acknowledged by the old grouch.

"Roger is away on business. Was there something I could perhaps help you with?"

_Roger? On business? Roger never leaves this place._

"Oh, I was just in the area and wanted to catch up with old friends. I was one of Roger's favorites, you see."

"Well unfortunately he's not here..."

_**Crash!!!**_

A loud sound echoed down the hallway, followed by the sound of a child's scream and several others laughing.

The man looked flustered. He didn't know if he could leave Matt alone or not.

_"Stop being such a baby! It's not that much blood!" _A child's voice called out from down the hallway.

"If you'll excuse me, you can see that I have to attend to something." The man said starting to hurriedly walk away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." Matt called out.

"Neville. Neville Berkshire. I'm afraid your visit will have to wait until another time. Please see your way out."

"No problem Mr. Berkshire." Matt said, bowing cordially with a sarcastic grin on his face.

Once Neville was out of range, he opened the door to Roger's office and crept inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

There had to be something, Matt thought, some sort of clue. Naturally he decided to start with what he knows best, and booted up Roger's desktop computer and launched the e-mail application.

"ENTER PASSWORD."

"Dammit." Matt muttered under his breath. He thought hard, to a time years ago when he would try and hack into Roger's computer for Mello in order to see Near's grades, "Damn, what was it?"

A wide grin spread on his face as the password Roger had used years ago apparently never changed. He sifted through the inbox, ignoring the various "enlarge your penis" and "attract more women" e-mails, amused that even Wammy's House couldn't escape spam. He wondered what L's inbox might have looked like and if they had found him too.

There it was, dated 3 weeks ago.

"ROGER DONT FORGET TO SEND THAT PACKAGE TO THE NY LOCATION BEFORE YOU LEAVE TO COME HERE. -N"

Matt breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Near was ok, and he was in New York. He just had to find out where exactly. He searched every digital corner of Roger's computer for any type of address in NY but found nothing. Remembering how Roger had always written everything down in his yellow legal pad he felt the paper for any type of impressions. He felt something for sure. He opened the desk drawer and found a pencil.

Holding the pencil at a steep angle, he shaded the top sheet of the legal pad and watched as letters and numbers magically appeared.

_"5701 E 56__th__ St_

_Apt 27B_

_New York, NY 10052"_

He stared at the address for a moment. His heart clenched and some wetness built up in his eyes as he realized that he was going to be able to see Near very soon. He also was amazed at how easy it was to find him. It would seem things aren't as cloak-and-dagger as they were when L was alive, Matt thought. He tore off the sheet of paper and folded it before putting it in his pocket. He carefully opened the door leading outside and looked around for Neville before entering the hallway and briskly escaping through the front door.

That same day Matt was on a plane to NY, unable to wait a moment longer to see Near. He played the scene over and over in his mind throughout the duration of the flight. He thought about what he would say when Near opened the door, what Near would look like, how he would react, what his apartment would look like. He thought about them sleeping together. Then, waking up and having breakfast in the morning, seeing the sleepy grin on his face as he sat in bed sipping coffee wearing nothing but his white button-down shirt.

He was also afraid that Near wouldn't accept him with open arms like he hoped he would. That perhaps what they had wasn't as strong as he thought it was, or even worse, that he found someone else. Not that he would blame Near if he did, but that would be a difficult pill to swallow. Matt felt they belonged together like two puzzle pieces that can only fit with each other. Nothing else will do. Matt had many opportunities in Japan with amazingly beautiful Japanese young men coming on to the pale skinned redhead with alarming frequency, but they simply wouldn't fit his part of the puzzle.

Matt decided to take a deep breath and to not think about the worst case scenario, and instead arduously count the seconds until he was on Near's doorstep. It went as wonderfully as he hoped. The look on Near's face was priceless. Matt had to fight to keep his composure has he looked in the eyes at the person he loved more than anything in this world. Those dark eyes, rapidly flooding with tears. Tears of joy. The feeling of Near's embrace made him feel euphoric,as Near sank his small frame into Matt's chest. His hair smelled amazing and was as soft as spun silk, just as he'd remembered.

While Matt carried Near into the kitchen and placed him gently in the chair, he looked around for signs of someone else, someone who was there to fill his shoes. He saw nothing. Nothing but a single twin sized bed with crumpled sheets on the top.

"And that's how I ended up here." Matt said, sitting across from Near, watching as he twirled his hair thoughtlessly, transfixed on every word Matt had told him.

"I don't know what it is I should say. I'm just about to start crying again, knowing you went through all of that and how painful, both physically and mentally, it must've been. On the other hand it makes me love you that much more because you're so much stronger than I am. I doubt I would've been able to handle that situation as well as you did." Near said, his eyes welling up and his voice quivering. He swallowed hard to regain composure.

"I didn't think I would ever be able to handle something like that as well. Being convinced to do something that crazy in the first place, getting shot, stealing an ambulance... the whole lot. I felt a bit like James Bond!" Matt chuckled.

"That package that I had Roger send to me, the one you had read about in that e-mail. Do you know what was in it?"

"No."

Near got up from the chair and opened the door to his closet, emerging moments later dragging a cardboard box on the ground in front of him. He pushed it with his feet in front of Matt.

"Go ahead and open it." Near said.

Matt's eyes widened and his mouth hung open when he pulled the top of the box off.

"Shortly after moving to NY, I had to go to Wammy's house to take care of some business. One night before I left I paid a visit to your old room when I found these things you left behind in the closet. I had to take them with me. I..."Almost instantly, Near's voice cracked and the tears came like a deluge, "I had nothing to remember you by. Not even a photograph to remember your face. I needed some part of you." Near pulled out one of Matt's signature white and black striped shirts from the box and removed it from the plastic bag he stored it in, "I used to wear this to sleep every night because it smells like you. I only stopped because the scent was fading. I didn't want to lose whatever little of you I had left." Then Near reached into the box and pulled out a Gameboy. It was an old one that Matt had stopped playing years ago, "Every once in a while I would turn this on and try and play it. I'm awful at these things, but it made me feel closer to you. It was my way of memorializing you. I did manage to get to the 3rd level eventually though. I imagined how proud you would've been of me."

"Near. I don't even know what to say. I'm touched but I feel awful for what you had to go through....

"It gets worse." Near said. He looked to the side. There was no way he could look Matt in the eye while he said this. He didn't even want to tell him, but he wanted to be honest with Matt. He took a deep breath before speaking, "Eventually the longing for you became so much that I started to do something. Something I normally would never do. Something that had me feeling so terrible afterwards, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but pretend...."

"What do you mean?" Matt said, an obvious hint of concern in his voice.

"I hired a male prostitute. One that looks similar to you. He looked nearly the same so long as I didn't look into his face. I even had him dress like you. I would have him come over whenever I started to miss you. I... I even called out your name during it. God, I feel so disgusting right now. I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to touch me again."

While Matt was shocked, he felt far more pity than disgust. He couldn't fathom that he meant that much to Near, and that he was slowly losing his mind without him. So instead of shying away or standing up abruptly and leaving like Near feared he would. He got up from his chair and knelt down in front of Near and kissed him softly.

"It's ok Near. I forgive you."

"I wanted you to be the only one who would ever have my body that way. I just thought that if I could pretend..."

Near's words were cut short by Matt's lips on his again. Matt gently cupped Near's face with the palm of his hand as he started to kiss him deeper and more passionately with the salty tang of Near's tears on his tongue. Near placed his hand on the back of Matt's head and ran his fingers through the auburn locks, making Matt inhale sharply through his nose and attack Near's mouth even harder.

Near started to get a bit more aggressive as well and started biting and nipping at Matt's lips, grabbing a whole handful of Matt's hair and pulling firmly. He wanted him so badly. This was better than a dream come true. It was almost too good to be real for Near. The feeling of Matt's hands on his body was electrifying. Hands that Near never thought would touch him again. Strong hands that made Near feel safe, that made him feel things nobody else could. Hands that knew exactly which of Near's buttons to push and how to push them, and now they were running all over his body through the thin fabric of his white shirt.

Wrapping his arms around Near's body, Matt lifted Near off the chair and carried him over to the bed where he laid him down on his back. The sensation of being picked up and carried like that made Near whimper softly. Matt started to unbutton Near's shirt, exposing the smooth flesh underneath, and once fully open showed Near's thin pale torso, nearly a sensual hourglass shape from his ribcage to where his figure widened at the hips, something one would normally never notice due to the loose fitting clothes he always wears. . Matt devoured Near's flesh, first starting on the smooth skin of his stomach. Sucking, licking and biting gently. He was falling in love all over again, falling in love with this body that he could pleasure until eternity.

"Nnnghhh!" Near cried out through gritted teeth.

This only egged Matt on further. Matt firmly ran his hands up Near's chest while feasting on his lower torso, feeling Near's ribcage lift as he breathed in hard and arched his back. He could feel something firm poking him in the neck through Near's trousers. He wanted to devour it right then and there, but that would have to wait for now. He wanted to prolong this for as long as possible until Near was nearly seeing stars, he thought nearly grinning to himself. He ran a trail with his tongue up Near's stomach and to his chest, biting on his flat pectoral muscles. Near clawed desperately at the bedsheets, unable to cope with all the sensation bombarding him.

"I'm yours forever Matt..... Take me right now."

Matt made no verbal reply but instead grabbed a handful of Near's hair and pulled his head to the side, exposing the delicious flesh of Near's neck. He attacked his neck, applying slight pressure with his teeth, biting gently. Near moaned loudly at Matt's forceful action and thrust his hips upwards into Matt. Matt countered by pressing his lower body in to Near, both of them could feel each other's raging organs through the fabric of their clothes. Matt worked his way over to Near's shoulder, nibbled there, and then continued back down his chest, down his stomach again, and then paused once he reached the waistband of Near's trousers. He unfastened them and slowly slid them down, revealing Near in a pair of tight white briefs, straining against the constrictive fabric. Matt stroked with his finger from the base all the way to the sensitive tip which appeared to be oozing a rather large amount of precum nearly soaking the front of Near's underwear.

Near shuddered, once again grasping the bedsheets and involuntarily thrusting upwards again, desperate for more. Matt enjoyed being a tease, but he was getting a little too hot himself to hold this out any longer. Matt peeled the underwear from his lover with haste, making Near's hardness spring back against his stomach with a light slapping sound. Near bent his knees and put his feet flat on the bed in preparation of what was coming next, and when Matt seemed to be taking too long Near pulled his head down onto him. Matt understood the signal and took Near into his steaming hot mouth.

"Nnghhh."

Near whimpered as Matt started to bob his head up and down his shaft. It felt so incredible that Near momentarily lost the strength to keep his hand on Matt's head and let it limply fall to the side as his eyes narrowed. Matt worked Near's shaft expertly, and very quickly Near found himself on the edge of ecstasy.

He quickly sat up and pulled Matt's head from his pulsing organ before it was too late. Matt was stunned by Near's sudden aggressiveness and looked up at him wide eyed. The fire that burned in Near's eyes was simply unbelievable. It almost seemed like role reversal when Near pulled Matt's shirt off in one swift movement and then flipped over on top of him, pinning Matt to the bed. Matt could've easily thrown Near off if he wanted, but why would he want to? Seeing Near as voracious as a feral cat while straddling him was turning him on more than anything he could've imagined.

Near attacked Matt's body with all manner of teeth, lips and tongue. In fact he seemed to be a bit more passionate than Matt was. Matt placed his hands on Near's shoulders and gasped when Near grabbed both of Matt's wrists and slammed them back down on the bed, stretching his arms wide. The tension on his muscles hurt so good he felt himself becoming weaker by the moment. It had been a while since they were together, but he never could've imagined Near as acting so dominant. It seems like time had changed him to some extent, or that Near was trying to make up for their lost time. Matt was willing to let Near do whatever he wanted to. He deserved it.

So as Near held Matt in a mock crucifixion, he attacked the skinny but firmly muscled chest below him with his tongue causing Matt to groan. The pain from his arm muscles being stretched started to hurt so good, and while Near wasn't particularly strong he was able to hold Matt down as he writhed around on the bed. A nipple entered Near's mouth, and he teased it with his tongue and grazed it with his teeth, feeling the nub get firmer in his mouth. He moved over to the next one for the same treatment and finally released Matt's arms as he moved his mouth lower to feast on Matt's abdomen.

Matt stayed in his submissive position, anxious to see what Near would do next to him, staring upwards at the ceiling. He suddenly hissed and arched his back as Near sucked on the flesh of his stomach. He couldn't remember Near ever being this good in bed. Normally it was Matt that did all the work, reducing Near to a blushing, sweating puddle on the bed.

Near unbuckled Matt's belt and yanked it out. It clattered onto the coffee table as Near flung it across the room. Near unbuttoned Matt's skinny blue jeans and carefully slid them off his legs, before returning to pull the black boxer shorts off and discarding them in a similar fashion. He looked downwards at Matt's stark naked form breathlessly, not sure what he wanted to do first. Did he want to start with Matt's nicely sized cock which was standing at attention? Or did he want to run his tongue all over his muscular legs and thighs? Seemingly stuck in indecision, Matt wrapped a hand around the base of his own shaft and tugged a few times. Near brought his head lower and took it into this mouth, swirling his tongue around the head before plunging his head down as far as he could without choking.

"Mmmm..... Near you're so amazing...." Matt panted as his skinny albino lover pleasured him.

Near kept up a steady pace until he could hear Matt getting close to orgasm by the sound of his breaths. He decided to stop at that point and move onto something else, spreading Matt's legs wide, exposing his inner thighs, scrotum and taint. Letting his tongue do the work he attacked one of Matt's thighs, a wise move considering how Matt's body tensed up. He worked it a little harder, making him grunt loudly, moving onwards towards the corner between his leg and his balls, forcefully licking with his tongue, even biting slightly in certain spots. He felt Matt bury his hands in his hair, pushing him to go further. Near started to suck on Matt's balls gently while he looked on downwards, wondering when it was going to be his turn again. He couldn't just lay there anymore. Near was doing way too good of a job. He needed his release soon, and he wanted it to be inside Near. He wanted to feel him from the hot steaming inside of his body.

He decided he needed to take charge again when Near moved to his other thigh, wracking his body with another wave of pleasure. He pulled Near up by the shoulders and slid out from underneath him.

"Lay on your stomach." Matt said, and Near quickly obeyed, "Do you have any lube or anything?"

"Yeah, in the nightstand." Near replied.

Matt removed the small bottle of lubricant from the drawer and popped the cap open before drizzling it onto his raging penis. He poured some down the crack of Near's ass before slowly working it into the tight hole. Near was extremely tight, surprisingly since he apparently paid good money to have been 'taken care' of recently. Once Matt slipped the first finger in Near yelped while grasping fistfuls of the bedding below him. Matt worked the finger in and out, trying to loosen Near up a little bit before entering him. He started with a second finger and was met with louder moans.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, shhhhhh..... it's just a little tight. Just do me. I just want you so bad right now I don't care if it hurts."

Matt lowered himself down onto Near and positioned himself, placing his hardness at the entrance before pushing in slowly. It didn't seem too bad at first even though Near tensed up below him as he slipped the head in. Matt pushed in a little further.

"Aaaghhh!!" Near yelled loudly, causing Matt to stop before he hurt him any more.

"You ok?"

"Just a sec... Just hold it there for a second I'll be ok."

"I thought you had, well, done this recently." Matt said.

"You're bigger. A lot bigger, Matt... and I want every fucking inch of you inside even if it kills me" Near replied through gritted teeth.

Matt widened his eyes as Near lifted his hips up, trying to shove more of Matt inside of him. While it was painful for Near it was a little uncomfortable for Matt too, as Near's body was squeezing the daylights out his organ. It seemed like he was asking for more, so Matt complied and slid more of himself into Near, not stopping until he was buried to the hilt. Near yelled loudly, but didn't tell him to stop. He held himself there for a moment for Near to adjust before pulling out and plunging back into him. It felt every bit as incredible as he remembered. Near yelled out loudly every time Matt shoved himself inside, a rhythm that was starting to increase in frequency.

"I'm here to stay Near. We can be together for eternity. I only want you forever. I love you." Matt whispered into Near's ear.

He could see a tear streaming down Near's face. He wasn't sure if it was from the painful pleasure of their sex or if it were from the words.

"I love you Matt. Please don't stop, please don't stop until you cum."

Matt picked up the pace and started fucking Near even harder. Near was nearly covered in sweat and was blushing profusely at this point. Matt could feel himself getting close, a nearly burning sensation that threatened to erupt at any moment.

"Near, I'm coming. Unghhh.."

Matt grabbed Near's hair and pulled his head back as he released himself inside of his boyfriend's body, shoving his entire length in and out slowly as Near's ass milked him of every drop. Matt collapsed on top of Near, panting and breathing heavily. They lay there for a moment before Near made a movement to get up, so Matt withdrew himself from Near's insides and rolled over onto his back. Near flipped over as well and started hammering away at his dripping, swollen penis. He didn't even last 3 seconds before erupting all over his chest, stomach and neck, a few drops landing on Matt as well.

The only sound in the room was of Near panting and moaning as he squeezed the last few drops out before his hand fell limply beside him while staring up at the ceiling. After catching his breath, he rolled over on top of Matt and rested his head on his chest. Matt placed his hand on Near's back and rubbed gently as his body rose and fell with each deep, but no longer frantic breath.

As Near laid on top of Matt, he studied the gunshot scar on his left arm and ran one of his fingers over it curiously, almost afraid to touch it too much. He rolled his eyes downwards to Matt's legs, trying to see if he could see the other scar.

"Hey... I'm ok now." Matt said.

"I know, it's just.... Just seeing them makes me realize how close you came from losing your life, and how you might not have ever been here now."

"Yeah it was a close call. If Mello wasn't dead I would kick him in the ass for getting me involved in that whole mess."

Something had dawned on Near once he considered all the time Matt spent with the oversexed blonde.

"Matt, did you and Mello ever..... do this?" Near asked.

"No. Well...almost, but no. It's just we were apart for so long and, well you know how manipulative he can be. We were cooped up in the apartment for 3 full days doing surveillance. It was hot as hell in there with no a/c so most of the time were were walking around in our underwear. He took his clothes off first and convinced me that I should do the same for comfort's sake. He would brush up against me if we were looking at something on the computer together, on purpose. Then one time he put his hand on my shoulder. It... it felt too good..."

"You can spare me the details Matt." Near said firmly, making movement to get up from the bed.

"Just hear me out. I was getting turned on and Mello knew it. He made a move for my privates, but I grabbed his hand and pushed him away. He said to me, 'don't tell me you're holding out for that white haired brat, are you?' At that point I pushed him hard onto the floor and went in the bathroom to jerk off. I thought about you."

Matt turned Near's head to face him and gazed into his eyes.

"Sounds like it was a close call." Near said.

"I suppose it was. But I didn't let the temptation get the best of me, and believe me it was difficult. I'm sure you can admit Mello looked quite good. Even with part of his body and face scarred."

"I did pleasure myself thinking about him on occasion back in England, before me and you got involved. So yes. I do know what you mean. I'm just glad nothing happened between you two. Although, I if it had I'm not sure it'd make a difference to me right now. I'm so glad to have you back." Near said.

He sat down on Matt's lower body and wrapped his arms around Matt's shoulders, pulling him into an embrace.

"A new beginning?"

Matt wrapped his arms around Near in turn before replying.

"A new beginning."

Near uncoiled his arms from Matt's body and withdrew to arms length, resting his fingertips on Matt's shoulders. Matt surveyed Near's lithe body up and down, feeling himself get excited again.

"You want to do it again, don't you." Near said, his lips curling upwards into a coy smirk.

"How'd you know?"

"Because you're staring at me like you want to eat me, and I can feel you poking me from behind." Near replied.

"Well I do want to eat you actually, so bring it here."

The sex between them continued until nightfall when they were both completely spent and barely able to stay awake any longer. After they both showered, Matt was the first to crawl into bed, followed by Near, who closed his eyes and cuddled up against his lover. Matt would've closed his eyes too, however the bright lights shining above them made it seem pointless.

"Near. You forgot to turn the lights off."

Near made no movement while he considered it. Could he turn the lights off? Did he feel safe enough with Matt next to him? He looked upwards at Matt and decided that with him he was safe from all harm and that nothing could hurt him.

"Oops. Sorry." Near said before reaching over to the switch on the wall and turning the room into a pitch dark cavern.

The usual anxiety wasn't there, so he resumed his position nestled into Matt's body and fell asleep nearly instantly.

A/N: That shit was long wasn't it? It needed to be. I had a lot of fun writing Matt's backstory. I also wasn't planning in posting all these chapters up so quickly but I can't help myself. I do need to slow down however because I'll run out of material to post. I've still got several more chapters to write. Oh and just several things about this chapter I loved. I love badass Matt, and I love aggressive-uke Near. Anyway.** Please review**. Please let me know if you like the way the story is headed, although I promise you, you will not predict what happens next. This is just the beginning.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The morning sun shone brightly through the curtains, making Matt squint to keep the light out of his eyes. All he wanted was just a little more sleep, a little more time to hold Near in his arms.

_Wait... Where is Near?_

Suddenly he realized that he was alone in the bed, and as his senses returned to him he heard the shuffling of papers and the erratic ticking sound of a hard disk drive in the background. He opened his eyes against the blinding morning sun and sat up in bed.

Matt could see the top of Near's head as he sat on the floor at the foot of the bed. Matt crawled slowly towards the edge where he found Near deeply concentrating on one of many sheets of paper haphazardly strewn about. A notebook computer was amongst the debris, displaying a green lit photograph of someone.

Matt reached down and snaked his arms around Near's frame, startling him slightly. He gave his snow haired lover a kiss on the neck before whispering the first words of the day into Near's ear.

"Good morning sunshine."

Near leaned backwards into Matt's embrace as his eyes closed and his head lolled back.

"Mmm.... Good morning." Near replied.

"So what are you doing? Working on a case?"

"Yes, and hopefully it should be concluding soon."

"What's it about?"

"Well, you see this man here" Near said, pointing to the screen, "That's Gaston Montvac, an employee of Helix Labs, the biological research company that hired me. It seems that top secret research information frequently goes missing and is being sold to other competing company's across the world. They suspect this man because he has frequent exposure to such information being the head of the IT department, but nobody can actually pin it on him. A 3rd party IT firm was hired to see if Gaston left any traces of his activity behind but nothing showed up. Roger and I have been tracking his movements for months and I took these pictures the other night. I think they might be the silver bullet we need to put this case to rest."

"Wait... you took these pictures yourself? Like you were hiding in the bushes?"

Near looked down sheepishly.

"Yeah. Something like that."

"Wow I never thought my boyfriend was also a spy." Matt said while laughing. He suddenly stood up on the bed and started dancing and singing. "_Secret...Agent Man... Secret... Agent Man..."_

Near started to crack a smile, but completely cracked up when he saw Matt's soft penis flopping up and down as he danced.

"_My secret.... Agent man...."_

"Matt are those the only words that you know to that song?" Near asked with a post laughter grin on his face.

"Umm.... Yeah." Matt replied, with his antics coming to a rest, "C'mon, I'll make us some breakfast. _Secret.... Agent man..._" Matt sang as he leaped from the bed and scurried into the kitchen.

Near's heart swelled as he thought of how happy he was to have Matt back. It almost seemed unreal. He was afraid that it was all just a very realistic dream and that he'd wake up alone again, cursing his mind for teasing him so cruelly. But sure enough, Near never did wake up from this dream come true.

Several weeks went by and the two of them got used to living together and sharing a bed every night, just like they had dreamed about so many years ago. There was a change in Near's demeanor as well, something even Roger had noticed. Gone was the cynical, angry, and sometimes outright abrasive boy. Near remembered how to laugh, to smile, and even crack a joke every once in a while.

He loved living life now. He succeeded in having Gaston Montvac arrested, and Matt even succeeded in getting Near out of the apartment every once in a while, with the both of them enjoying dinner at nice restaurants when Matt didn't feel much like cooking. Near's cooking was a bit less than spectacular, something he freely admitted, but he very much enjoyed the time him and Matt spent out.

"Fancy dessert?" Matt asked as the rounded the corner to their building.

"Are you trying to make me fat?" Near replied with a coy smile on his face.

"I don't think you could get fat even if you tried, Near. So what'll it be? Cherry Garcia? Green Tea?

"Red bean." Near replied.

"Ok, I'll run to the grocery store and get it. Go upstairs into the apartment and take your clothes off. I want to eat this ice cream off of your body."

Near felt his face flush and his breath hitched as he visualized Matt's suggestion. The look on his face told Matt he was completely on board with the idea, and wordlessly he disappeared into the lobby of the apartment building. He unlocked the door to the apartment and kicked his shoes off before stepping inside, thinking about how he's going to pleasure Matt tonight when he suddenly kicked something on the floor.

_What did Matt leave out? _

Near wondered as he bent down in the darkened room and picked the object up. It was a book. That much he could tell just from feel alone, but he was unable to make out what it was. Near figured it was probably one of Matt's programming books since he seemed to resume interest in his previous passion again, however what Near saw when he flicked the lights on was so shocking he early dropped it.

"Death Note"

_"It cant be." _Near thought as his heart started to race, he immediately looked around the room for the shinigami that would usually accompany a Death Note. But saw nothing. Nervously he opened the book to the first page and sank to the ground as his legs gave out upon reading the first and only entry.

"Nate River- Oct 20, 2008 12AM"

That was only three hours from then.

A/N:  
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!! Not sure if that was predictable or not. If it was, oh well. Sorry this was such a short chapter, but there's lots more to come. The story has officially begun. Hope you enjoy the ride. Please review. I love you all. Thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

His hands shook as he stared at the book in front of him. His mind was rapidly trying analyze what was happening, and while Near usually can think straight under pressure, his fright was so severe he couldn't even put one coherent thought together.

He knew there was a possibility that the book wasn't real, yet there was an equal possibility that it was. Despite whether it was a fake or not, it had to have gotten there on his living room floor somehow. He wanted to get up and look around the apartment for signs of someone having been there while they were gone but he simply couldn't move. He was frozen in that position on the floor, wondering what dying was going to feel like. He didn't even hear Matt unlock the door and enter the apartment.

"Near what are you doing over there?" Matt asked.

Near didn't reply, but looked up at Matt with desperate eyes. Matt had never seen such a look on Near's face before and immediately dropped the shopping bag onto the kitchen counter as he quickly made his way over and knelt down beside him. It was still dark in that part of the room, with only the scattered light from the kitchen illuminating them, and while Matt could see Near was holding a book, he couldn't see exactly what it was until the pulled the book from Near's shaking hands and moved over into the light to see it better.

He wrinkled his nose in confusion. He hadn't actually ever seen a Death Note before, and only heard about it through Mello.

"Matt, open it." Near said with a quivering voice.

Matt opened the book and looked at the writing on the first page. He felt the color drain from his face and Near knew that Matt understood what was happening when Matt slowly checked his watch. Matt swallowed before opening his mouth, not sure what to even say.

"Umm.... Is this.. Is this thing even real?" Matt said as he turned the book over and examined every corner, not even sure what he was looking for.

"I don't know Matt. I can't tell. It looks so similar to the ones that I've seen. I just don't know. Matt, I might be dead in 3 hours."

Matt dropped the book on the floor and stood up. He started pacing around the room frantically and pulling at his hair, running throughout the apartment looking for a sign of forced entry somewhere, hoping there would be some kind of logical explanation. He found nothing that would suggest someone had broken into their apartment

"What are we going to do? I can't.. I can't believe this is happening! Who would do this to you?"

"Matt please calm down."

"I can't calm down! Not only if you've got only 3 hours left to live! We don't even know if it's real! Maybe it isn't? Or maybe it is? How can we tell? I don't... I cant..."

"Matt calm down! Come here and hold me! Please!" Near shouted. Matt halted and knelt down next to Near again, pulling him tightly into his arms. "Matt, I'm scared. I'm so scared. I don't want to die. Not after my life has become as wonderful as you've made it. I'm so scared."

"I'm scared too Near. I cant lose you. I don't know what I'll do with myself after you.... Look, maybe it's all a hoax. We should call Roger."

"What is Roger going to do? There's not enough time for an investigation. Logically, we should wait it out to see what happens, as absurd as that sounds."

Matt got up and flooded the room with light as he flicked the switch on the wall. He picked up the book from the floor and examined the handwriting. It was in pencil, and very neat.

"Can't we just erase it?"

"It's not that simple Matt. Once it's written, that's it, it's committed."

"Can't we write something like 'the person who wrote the previous entry will call this apartment and tell us who he is'?"

"It doesn't work like that. We would need to know what he looks like and his name."

"Wait a second. How does this person know _your_ name? Your real name."

Near placed his face in the palm of his hand before sliding it up and through his hair.

"I don't know Matt. I've been a bit less careful lately. Out of necessity really. You cant sign a lease on an apartment using just the name 'Near' for example. Things like that. God I'm so stupid."

Matt approached Near and offered his hand to help him get up from the floor. Near reluctantly took it and stood up. Near wrapped his arms around Matt and pulled their bodies together, burying his face in Matt's chest.

"We should call Roger. We should let him know what's going on."

"Nn." Near said in agreement.

He started to feel whoosy. This was a bit too much for him to handle. While he normally would be halfway down the path of solving this case using the limited information he already had, all he could think of is the idea of being dead in less than 3 hours and having to wait for it. He'd rather it happen all of the sudden than have to deal with this arduous torture.

"I need to sit down."

Matt led him over to the sofa where he sat down and closed his eyes, trying to calm his mind down so it would be at least somewhat useful.

Matt called Roger and explained the situation, and as Near requested, Matt asked that Roger would not come over. If it truly were the end, then Near would rather be with Matt alone. Roger told Matt that he would look into the matter, trying to find out any information he could, but he knew that it would be pointless. All they had was a notebook and a few scrawled words, and so for the next two and half hours, Near and Matt sat on the couch and embraced each other, saying their I love you's and goodbyes with tears flooding down their cheeks.

"Matt what time is it?" Near asked.

"11:59."

Near gasped and tensed up, grabbing a hold of Matt's arm and squeezing tightly. He had hoped that it wouldn't be painful. He had seen people in their death throws after becoming victim to the Death Note's default cause of death firsthand, and it didn't look pleasant in the slightest. Matt looked downwards at his watch again and shut his eyes. It was 12:00, Near could tell by his reaction.

Near could feel his face flood with heat and sweat building up on his forehead rapidly. Breathing became difficult, almost impossible as he felt his chest painfully tighten up. Nearly all the muscles in his torso seared with painful tension, and then he felt his heart banging away erratically. Near suddenly clasped a hand firmly around Matt's arm, a movement that took quite a bit of effort because it seemed like he was frozen, like all of his muscles were seizing at once. Matt could tell by Near's widened eyes and gaped open mouth that all his fears were becoming reality.

"Oh god it's happening. Near! Please! Please don't die!" Matt cried out as he pulled Near's rigid body into his chest, holding him tightly, "I love you so much. Oh god why is this happening! Please! I can't lose him!"

Matt gritted his teeth and held Near tightly against his own body until he felt Near's body go limp. He shut his eyes tightly as tears poured down his cheeks and screamed openly and gutturally before sobbing onto Near's head which was still pressed against his own chest. Matt's sobs were so strong that he couldn't feel Near breathing against him.

"Matt... Matt, I'm ok. " Near said, muffled against Matt's shirt.

Matt suddenly stopped with a gasp and released his grip on Near, holding him at arm's length and examining him in disbelief. Near was breathing heavily and sweaty, but very much alive.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

"The book is a fake."

"Then what the hell just happened to you?" Matt cried out.

"I don't know. I think it was purely psychological. I feel perfectly fine right now, although a bit shaken up. Believe me if it was real, I'd be dead right now."

Matt pulled Near into an embrace again and exhaled slowly with relief, the last of his tears falling into Near's hair.

"Who would do this to you?"

"I don't know Matt but I need to lay down. I'm exhausted right now."

Matt led Near to the bed and folded the covers back so he could get in before tucking him into bed gently. Near yawned before making one last request.

"Matt, could you please take the notebook to Roger right away so he can have it analyzed? I want to start the investigation immediately."

"Near are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, just let me sleep."

"Ok, I'll be back in a little while."

Matt kissed Near on the forehead before putting the notebook under his arm and walking out of the door, locking it behind him.

Near wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep or if he had slept much at all. While he was mentally and physically exhausted, some part of his mind had difficulty turning off due to what had just happened. He heard feet shuffling on the carpet, but it was too dark to make out Matt's figure.

"Did you see Roger?" Near asked sleepily with his face half smooshed into the pillow.

Near had drifted asleep again only seconds later when he felt his head being lifted up by his hair and something being placed over it. It felt like a plastic bag. Near quickly tried to sit up in bed, not sure what was going on when he felt his arms being pinned down. He shouted at his assailant and struggled with all his might to get out from the much stronger grasp. He wasn't able too. He considered kicking with his feet but his legs were trapped under the blankets. His assailant suddenly pinned Near's wrists to the bed above his head with one hand. Near wondered what he was going to do with the other free hand when he felt a sharp pinch in his neck, followed by a warm sensation coursing throughout his body. He futile thrashing was quelled as he surrendered his consciousness to the powerful drug flowing through his bloodstream, while his assailant lifted his limp body from the bed and stole him away into the night.

A/N: I'm surprised how many people thought Matt was the one who planted the DN. That thought never crossed my mind but I guess it definitely could see that way. Sorry to end this one on another cliffhanger, but it's just too much fun not to :). So how was this chapter? Good/bad/indifferent? Please review and let me know!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry I took nearly 2 months to update, especially after such a cliffhanger. To be honest I didn't even realize how quickly the time went. I hope you enjoy this one. There should be more to follow really soon. Promise. :)

Chapter 7

Matt entered the apartment silently, hoping not to wake Near. He too was exhausted, wanting nothing more at that moment than to crawl into bed with his lover and latch onto him, not letting go of his body until sunrise. Convincing himself that the notebook was left in good hands, and that hopefully the next morning would provide them with information as to who decided to play this sick game. He had a feeling that whoever it was wasn't finished, and that more would happen.

His concerns were validated when he crawled into an empty bed. He furrowed his brow, and looked towards the bathroom door, finding it wide open and that the bathroom was just as dark as the rest of the apartment. He turned the lights on, expecting to see Near sitting by himself on the floor, lost deep in thought. He wasn't there. There was nobody there.

"Near?!" Matt called out, only to be answered by the echo of his own voice.

He approached the bed, looking at the side that Near normally sleeps on, half expecting Near to suddenly appear, as if he didn't see his white ghostlyness against the white linens on the bed. That's when he spotted it, a single red spot just below the pillow, disturbing the otherwise uniform color of the sheets.

Matt stared at the bloodstain as his own blood drained from his face. He looked around the apartment once again, his chest clenching tight. The room was still empty, with nothing but the hum of the refrigerator to break the stark silence.

"Near..." Matt whispered. Not sure what he should do next.

]

Matt scampered around the apartment frantically, going as far as checking closets. The bloodstain had him concerned. Near never had so much as a freckle on his perfect skin. Matt's heart started to pound, and the sound of his blood pumping through his arteries rang through his ears and was all that he could hear.

The first thing he decided to do was call Roger, thinking that Near might have for some reason decided to go visit him himself, despite the fact that Matt was already on his way. Then it dawned on him to try and call Near's cell phone. He found it in the apartment, vibrating off of the nightstand and onto the carpet below.

He made his next call, and slowly dialed 9-1-1, trying to think of what to say to whoever picked up on the other end.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"My boyfriend is missing. We live together and I went out for a little while, he was asleep when I left. He's missing and it's just not like him to disappear, especially in the middle of the night. I think he's been kidnapped."

"Sir he has to be missing over 24 hours before you can file a missing persons report."

"I dont have 24 hours! Look, earlier tonight someone had broken into our apartment and left him a message of sorts. It was threatening, and now I find him missing and there's blood on the sheets. Something is very wrong. He wouldn't just disappear on his own."

There was a pause as the person on the other end considered what he was told.

"I'm sending a detective your your place right now. Please stay calm while you wait for them to arrive."

"Thank you."

One would think that once reporting a kidnapping, the police would make haste trying to get to the scene of the crime, however Matt had waited nearly 30 minutes in silent misery for the knock on the door. He rushed over and opened it up, letting a uniformed police officer and a detective in a cheap suit in.

"My name is Detective Johnson and this is Officer Darelle. Are you the one that called in the kidnapping?"

"Yes."

"Can I see some form of identification?"

Matt handed him his ID and watched as the detective jotted his information down on a notepad.

"What is the missing person's name?"

"Near. Well, actually that's more of a nickname of sorts. His real name is Nate River."

"When did you last see Mr. River?"

"At 12:30. He had just gone to sleep. He was upset after receiving a death threat. Someone had broken into our apartment and left it for him while we were out to dinner earlier."

"Does Mr. River have any enemies?"

"Well, he probably does. He's a private investigator, and he's had some high profile cases."

"Any case in particular that might have angered someone enough to resort to drastic measures?"

"Yes. Well there's one in particular that I can think of. Kira."

"I'm sorry?"

"Kira."

"THE Kira?"

"Yes. He was the one who brought him down."

The detective scratched his head.

"Yes, I remember the Kira era fondly. That's when I actually had hope for this world. I was wondering who had the nerve to ruin this world's last chance at salvation." Detective Johnson said flatly.

This wasn't going well. Matt wished he had kept his mouth shut. He knew right then that his odds of getting help from the law were getting that much slimmer with ever word he said.

"Where is this death threat?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen it since Near has gone missing." Matt lied, determined now to give as little information as possible. Surely the existence of the Death Note was not something the general public needed to know anything about.

"Mind if I take a look around?"

"Of course. Help yourself." Matt said.

The detectives milled around the apartment, taking pictures of the bed and the small spot of blood on the sheets. Another knock on the door was heard. Matt opened the door and found Roger on the other side.

"Can I be of any assistance?" Roger said.

"I'm hoping you can. The detective is a Kira supporter. I don't think they're going to be trying their hardest to find him." Matt whispered.

"You told them about Near's involvement in the Kira case?"

Matt looked down at the ground, fully incriminating himself.

"Yeah, I kinda did."

"Stupid boy." Roger said harshly as he pushed Matt aside and entered the apartment.

"And you are?" Detective Johnson said.

"Roger -----. I'm Near's assistant. I was hoping I could be of some help in this matter."

The detective talked with Roger for some time while Matt sat on the couch and stared at the wall opposite. He wasn't helping matters in the slightest and he knew it. He was a little discouraged to say the least, realizing that the police might not be much help, and that Roger was the only chance he had. He then started to give thought as to where Near might actually be. He knew nothing about his assailant, and no idea what kind of danger Near was in. He let his emotions get the best of him and started to cry, try as he might to stifle it.

"I cant sit here idly while god only knows what his happening to him."

"Matt why don't you come with me to my office. We can work on this together."

Matt reluctantly agreed and left the police in their apartment to do their job, even though Matt believed that they were going to put forth hardly any effort. Once at Roger's office, Matt observed as the somewhat elderly man poked and prodded at his computer mouse and mindlessly sifted through stacks of papers. He seemed lost, as if he didn't know where to start. Matt realized then that he was on his own, and that if he wanted Near back safe and unharmed, he had better start leading the investigation himself immediately.

"Roger I think the first thing we should do is have a trace set up on the phone lines at our apartment. That way in case anyone calls for randsom we'll have a better shot at locating them."

"Yes I think that's a good idea." Roger replied.

"Also I would like a list of all the cases Near has solved since the Kira case."

Matt started to think about things a bit more closely. Near did just solve a somewhat high-profile case. He also knows Gaston Montvac had posted bail just as quickly as he was arrested, and he seemed like the one most likely to have a grudge against Near aside from Mikami, who after a quick call overseas to Japan, was confirmed dead as a doornail. What he couldn't figure out is how Montvac knew about the Death Note. Matt supposed that it wouldn't be that difficult to figure out of one dug deep enough into Near's history. He wasn't about to mull over it however. He needed his information quickly, immediately in fact. He didn't want Near to be held captive in who knows what conditions for another moment if he could help it.

"Matt you look exhausted. Why don't you go home and go to sleep?"

"I can't sleep, Roger. How could I possibly..." Matt said, rubbing his eyes, which now had bags under them due to exhaustion.

"Yes but you wont be any good to Near if you're not well rested. A mind thinks the best after a good night's sleep."

"To be honest Roger, I don't know if I could sleep in the same bed. Not after Near was taken. I'm not sure that I wont be attacked in the middle of the night. We still don't know who we're dealing with here."

"Are you saying you're scared, Matt?" Roger asked.

The question almost made Matt feel like he was being mocked, although that wasn't Roger's intention. Matt replied irritatedly.

"Yes goddammit! I'm scared!" Matt shouted.

"Would you feel better if I had a private security firm keep guard over the apartment while you are there? The police obviously wont stay there for any longer than necessary." Rogers said in his same calming voice.

Matt nodded in agreement. While he didn't want to seem helpless. He knew that he might be in danger alone, and that unless he was safe he wouldn't be of any help to Near. Roger made arrangements for a top level private security team to meet at the apartment. Matt thanked Roger and took a cab home.

Once home, Matt found two security guard standing in front off the apartment door. They weren't dressed any kind of uniform like Matt would've expected, and instead wore black slacks, white button down shirts, and black suit jackets. The unassuming clothing didn't make them look any less menacing though, because both of them were built like body builders, with broad shoulders and huge bulging biceps. Matt could make out the strap of a gun-holster peeking out from behind the larger man's jacket. These things made Matt feel a little bit more comfortable, yet vulnerable at the same time because he needed protection from these men. It was a bit humbling to say the least. Both men's expressions didn't waver as Matt approached, and remained stoic.

"Are you my guards for the night?" Matt asked.

"After you show us some identification, yes." The man replied. His voice was gruff.

Matt didn't hesitate to pull out his ID and hand it to the man who examined it scrupulously, before handing it back to him.

"My name is Lopez, and this is Dietrich. Your employer requested that we spend the night here due to a kidnapping that had taken place earlier, and that you might be in similar danger. I will stand watch outside, and Dietrich will stay inside the apartment with you. Is that arrangement agreeable?"

"Yes, I suppose that would work fine. I feel a little embarrassed about all of this actually. I'm not usually the type to...."

"Look, there's nothing to feel embarrassed about. We're professionals and used to dealing with this type of thing. You're not. Dietrich, bring this young man inside and secure the area."

"Got it boss." Dietrich replied.

Now that Dietrich had stepped closer to Matt, he could see that his was more intimidating than his partner. He was tall, with a blonde crew cut, and every part of him was chiseled. From his angular face to his equally angular body. He had the appearance of a marine Lieutenant.

"Are you in the military?" Matt asked sheepishly.

"Yes sir. 10 years in the corps, 2nd lieutenant. I'm inactive right now so I've been doing this in the meantime."

"I had a feeling. You look like the type."

Fortunately Dietrich grinned, apparently receiving it as a compliment. After closing the door behind them, the man scouted around the apartment, looking for...well Matt didn't exactly know what he was looking for, but it seemed like he knew what he was doing.

"Please make yourself at home. We're going to be here for a while." Matt said.

"Do you mind if I watch TV then. They're re-playing last night's game on ESPN."

"By all means, help yourself." Matt replied.

Matt sat down on the corner of the sofa and turned on the channel Dietrich asked for. The guard then sat down on the opposite side of the sofa and fixed his eyes on the screen. While Matt could care less about football, the sounds from the game suffocated the silence in the room and made him feel a little more comfortable. Eventually he curled up into the fetal position in his corner of the couch, hoping he'd be able to get some sleep, but he couldn't stop his mind from racing and worrying about Near.

Dietrich took a glance at Matt's bloodshot eyes and worried expression. Knowing that the boy in front of him was exhausted but wasn't going to get a wink of sleep, he pulled out a silver flask from his back pocket.

"Here." He said, handing it to Matt.

"What's this?" Matt asked.

"Just a little something I keep with me for long nights. A few swigs and you'll be asleep in 20 minutes."

"Seriously?"

"Either that or you can keep torturing yourself over there."

Matt opened the cap and took a mouthful, swallowing it quickly. He got most of it down but ended up coughing violently, with some of the liquor spilling down his chin, leaving a burning sensation in it's wake.

"Holy shit." Matt said, trying not to gag. He wiped his chin with the sleeve of his shirt.

"That's what we call Everclear. 190 proof of southern grain alcohol. I wouldn't advise smoking for the next half-hour or so. If you're even awake by then."

"Oh no, that's ok, I wasn't planning to. " Matt said. Almost instantly he could feel the alcohol in his bloodstream.

Matt re-curled himself up in the fetal position and before 10 minutes had gone past, he was snoring softly with drool escaping from the corner of his mouth.

A/N: What is my obsession with hugemongous military men? I'm not really attracted to that type, but something about someone incredibly badass protecting someone who isn't just appeals to me. Anyway. Please review onegaishimasu.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Darkroom

_Am I dreaming? Am I awake? Why can't I see? Why can't I move?_

Near's heart started to race as he regained consciousness. He had to consider for a moment whether or not he was even alive, that maybe had had died in his sleep and that this was some sort of afterlife. He quickly dispelled that idea as his senses returned to him and a musty odor filled his nostrils. He couldn't move because he was tied up somehow and even after opening his eyes as widely as he could, couldn't see simply because there was nothing to see. It was pitch black wherever he was.

He concentrated on his extremities, and was able to determine that he was was tied up in multiple places. He was on his knees, as if kneeling on the ground, with his ankles bound the the floor and his wrists tied behind his back. Preventing him from falling forward is what felt like two straps around his shoulders, suspending his upper body in that position from the ceiling. He could lean backwards, but not very far at all. Leaning forwards was impossible. Near also determined that he was on some sort of concrete floor by scraping one of his toenails against the ground.

It was at that moment that Near finally realized that he was completely naked. Someone had him here tied up in this position, completely naked and vulnerable in a pitch dark room. He remembered the brief struggle in his bed before everything went black.

"Nngghh!" He cried out, realizing that he couldn't speak due to a cloth tied around his mouth.

He bit down on the cloth hard, hoping to possibly chew through it. The more Near panicked, the more his body hurt by being bound in such a position for so long. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been like this. His knees were in pain as were his feet, yet he continued to struggle, desperate to move.

"Are you afraid?"

Near froze and his skin turned to goosebumps as a man's deep voice resounded into his left ear. He could feel the man's breath lick at his cheek as he spoke. Even while trying to stay still Near shivered with fright.

Near felt the gag being untied behind his head, finally releasing Near's jaw from it's hold. Near's mouth was dry, and his tongue felt like sandpaper. He was too afraid to speak, even though he was granted permission.

Near felt a single hand on his torso, stroking his body sensually. Like a feather, it glided down his chest to the sensitive region of his abdomen. Near clenched his teeth, hoping that this wasn't what he was going to have to endure for as long as his stay here lasted. Somehow he knew that this was only the beginning. And as much as he hated being touched this way, his body enjoyed it and his assailant knew it. Because while Near was sitting in a pitch black room, his attacker was donning a pair of military style night goggles, and was enjoying himself fully as he watched Near's body react to his touch and his eyes dart around in fear.

"Oh so you like this? You like what I'm doing to you?"

"Don't touch me." Near said through his gritted teeth, trying to sound firm.

"Your body is saying something different though isn't it? I can see..." the man brought his head closer to Near's and whispered. Near could hear the hum of the night-vision goggles in his ear, "you're getting bigger."

Near bit his lip and cursed himself for getting aroused. He knew there was a bigger reason why here was here, and it wasn't just for this.

"What do you want? Why am I here?" Near asked.

"Oh but you just got here! There's plenty of time for that later on! I would like us to get to know each other a little better before discussing other things."

Near heard the man stand up and his shoes shuffling on the concrete floor. The sounds got further and further away. He was leaving.

"Wait!" Near shouted, determined to get an answer.

"Hopefully next time you'll be more playful."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Roger, what ever happened to this guy?" Matt asked, holding a sheet of paper with a picture of Gaston Montvac in his hand.

"Well last I heard he made bail. Hardly a problem though as we collected more than enough evidence to have him incarcerated for quite a long time." Roger replied.

Matt stared at the picture with disdain. He was baffled as to how Roger hadn't considered this before. If anyone would have a grudge against Near, it's him.

"Did it ever occur to you that this Montvac person has something to do with Near's disappearance? Looking at his history it doesn't seem beyond him."

"Oh no Matt. I doubt very highly Gaston Montvac has anything to do with this. How would that explain the Death Note for example?"

"I don't know. Maybe he has his own ways of digging into people's pasts. Maybe he knows Near was involved with the whole Kira thing. I can't believe you're not paying much mind to this lead!" Matt said loudly.

Roger sipped from a cup of tea and continued.

"Your lack of experience shows, Matt. I think you should forget about it and look elsewhere."

"_Useless old fuck..." _Matt muttered under his breath.

He continued to look through the case files until he came across what he wanted. While Roger wasn't looking he folded the sheet of paper with Montvac's home address and quietly slid it into his pocket. If Roger wasn't going to be much help then Matt had to do it his way. He wasn't about to let anyone get away with this that easily.

An hour or so passed by when Matt made his move.

"Roger I'm starting to get tired. I think I'm going to head home." Matt said, covering his mouth in a mock yawn.

"Good night Matt. Don't despair. We'll get to the bottom of this. I care very deeply about Near too you know. Don't think that I'm indifferent to this." Roger said.

"I know Roger." Matt replied. He did know that Roger cared, he just thought the man didn't have any fervor in him. Matt however still had a fire that burned in the pit of his stomach, and now armed with Gaston Montvac's home address, it was a raging inferno.

Matt didn't waste any time and didn't even bother stopping home first as he headed right to Montvac's apartment. He clenched his teeth as he knocked hard on the door, banging so hard that he thought the skin on his knuckles was going to split.

The door opened halfway and before him stood the man in the photograph that he had been starting at for hours bitterly. Matt shoved with all his body weight into the door, knocking Montvac backwards and letting the door swing open widely. Montvac didn't fall however, and before he could counter or push Matt back, Matt was on him again with his hand wrapped around his throat, shoving him hard against the wall. He heard a woman scream to his right, and a quick glance showed Montvac's wife with her hands clasped over her mouth.

"I'm going to call the police!" She shouted.

"Go right ahead then! What the fuck did you do to him?" Matt demanded.

"Who?"

"Oh you very well know who. You want revenge for him having you arrested. Where the fuck is he?!!" Matt snapped, increasing his grip around the man's neck.

"I don't fucking know!" Gaston retorted, and shoved back at Matt quite hard, sending Matt falling into the wall behind him.

Matt tried to fight back as a fist collided with his jaw, but the simple fact was that he was backed up against a wall, and Montvac was a full sized, rather well built man whereas Matt still had the body of a teenaged boy. He couldn't keep up with the man's sheer strength and finally decided to make a break for it back out of the apartment.

"You son of a bitch! Tell me where he is!" Matt screamed from the hallway before wiping his bloodied nose with his sleeve.

"I'm sure I'm not the only enemy he has! Go somewhere else! Leave me and my family alone!" Montvac said.

"I called the police Gaston!" His wife said, rushing over to see if her husband was ok.

Matt already could hear sirens in the background. He knew he had a long night ahead of him now.

Matt spend the next hour in handcuffs in the back of a police car, parked in front of Montvac's apartment building.

"This bastard kidnapped Near! I know it! Call Detective Johnson! He's the one working on his case!"

"Maybe you need to let him do his job rather than take it into your own hands." The cop said.

"Please call him. I'm desperate. Near had this guy locked up and now he's gone missing. He has to be involved!"

The officer reluctantly picked up his radio and asked headquarters to inform Detective Johnson of the situation. Eventually the detective showed up at the scene and questioned Matt briefly before going upstairs to the apartment.

Matt waited for what seemed like forever when Johnson returned and opened the door of the police car and let Matt out.

"You're very lucky, he decided not to press charges against you." Johnson said as he removed the handcuffs from Matt.

"That's it?" Matt asked.

"He has a solid alibi, with receipts to verify his story. That doesn't mean he might not still be involved however. We're going to keep a close eye on him but my gut feeling is that he has nothing to do with this."

"Are you sure? It seems to make perfect sense..."

"Look you need to find something to do. I know you're worried and that you can't think straight, but doing things like this might actually get you killed, let alone locked up. Go home and let us do our jobs."

Matt reluctantly called Roger once he returned home. He figured he'd rather tell him now than let him find out about it another way. He knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant call.

"You did what?!" Roger barked.

"The police don't think he's involved, but I don't believe it. I'm not sure what to believe any more."

"You stupid, stupid boy. Are you trying to get yourself killed? Or at the very least trying to complicate matters further than they already are? Perhaps you should go back to playing videogames as you're certainly not cut out for investigation work. I suggest you stop trying to be a hero and let people that actually know what they're doing do the detective work."

"You don't know what this is like Roger! Every second I'm wondering where he is and how he's being treated! I don't know if he's alive or dead! I can't live like this! I want him back dammit! I want to know he's safe and that this psycho isn't torturing him or hurting him or.... god only knows what else!" Matt shouted into the phone. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes as he thought about all the worst possibilities.

"Yes Matt. I do know. I also am worried for Near, but acting irrationally isn't going to help matters. If you can't calm down and be useful then it's to Near's benefit that you simply stay out of it."

"Whatever. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm going to sleep." Matt said before snapping the phone shut.

Matt walked over to the bed and sat down. He found one of Near's white shirts laying on one of the pillows. He picked it up and felt the fabric gently before clutching it tightly to his chest, trying with all his might not to break down.

"I'll find you Near. I don't care what it takes. I'm going to find you and bring you home."

A/N: Hopefully this one will get you lovely fans reviewing. :) Seems like Near's in quite the predicament isn't he? Being scared of the dark and all. Matt's starting to come unglued. What's he going to do next? I wonder.. :) Anyway. Hope you enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE ONEGAI!!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry it took so long! Enjoy!

Chapter 9

_ "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens  
Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things"_

Near's faint voice echoed around his prison as he sang quietly, desperate to hear something other than the sound of his own heartbeat or the occasional drop of water from the even darker corners of his hell. Darker corners that could have been a mile away, hiding things scarier than he already knew. The darkness in this room was an infinity, with no end in sight no matter how widely he opened his doe-like eyes.

_ "Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings. These are a few of my favorite things"_

He didn't even know how he remembered this song. The faint memory attached to it was of L singing it to him when he was little, hoping to get him to turn off his constantly working mind and go to sleep. The small child who he once was could never have imagined this happening to him in a million years, and after so many hours of solitude in this condition he wondered if he was even still alive.

He couldn't feel anything anymore. His limbs had long gone numb and were probably cold and lifeless due to lack of circulation, the hunger that clenched his stomach had disappeared for the time being and even the fear was nothing compared to what it was earlier, transforming into an overwhelming feeling of despair and anxiousness rather than the primal form it had been in once he first woke up here. In fact the only way he knew he was still alive was with the overwhelming urge to use the bathroom, an urge he had been suppressing for the past 12 hours or so. He would hold it as long as he had to save whatever dignity he had left. The singing helped keep his mind off it and his bladder calm.

_ "When the dog bites  
When the bee stings  
When I'm feeling sad  
I simply remember my favorite things  
And then I don't feel so bad"_

Near's heart leaped to life as he heard a loud metallic sound behind him. He heard a door swing wide open, however not allowing any light to cross it's path. The shuffling of feet behind him sent a shiver up his spine, and eventually they drew closer. Near could tell the man was standing right next to him.

"I have to pee." Near stated plainly. He could hear the man snicker in response.

"I figured as much. You've been here for quite some time now."

"Aren't you gong to untie me so I can use the bathroom?"

"No. You're going to do it right here."

"And I suppose you came here to watch?!" Near said angrily, not at all wanting to urinate all over himself.

Near suddenly felt something cold and metal on his thighs. Best he could figure is that it was a pan of some kind. A humiliating gesture to say the least. What caught him really by surprise was the hand touching his genitals, holding it between two fingers. His body jolted in surprise, all of the numbness in his previously motionless arms and legs suddenly returning to their painful glory.

"What are you doing?!" Near asked nervously.

"Well being that you can't aim nor see I'm offering my help you selfish little shit. Now go."

Near tried but he couldn't. He tried to relax and just let it flow out of him but it simply wouldn't happen. Not even a single drop. His bladder felt like it was about to burst and his nerves were wound tighter than a drum, but what disturbed him the most was the involuntary reaction his body had to the man's touch. He felt his face get hot as he felt his organ grow in the man's hands. He was disgusted with himself, especially since he knew his kidnapper was enjoying every second that he grew in inches.

Eventually however his amusement faded, and he released Near and dropped the pan on the floor with a loud clatter.

"Fine. You don't want to go? Then don't. You unappreciative...."

"Wait. Just let me try again. I'll go this time I promise." Near begged, feeling more humiliated than he thought possible.

The pan was placed at his lap, and his organ was held in between the man's fingers once again. Near bit his lip and concentrated with all his might, and eventually the first few drops hit the pan. He was able to relax a little more and continue on with a weak, but steady stream. Near whimpered at the painful pleasure of relief. It seemed to go on forever, and he was worried that the pan would be taken from him before his was finished or that it would overflow, but the man waited until the last few drops flowed from Near and then lewdly shook it before letting go and taking the pan away.

Near breathed heavily in relief, feeling considerably better. He considered playing this man's sick game for a moment, hoping that it would help him in the near future.

"Thank you for letting me pee." Near said pathetically. The shuffling of feet started to move away from Near again. He was leaving, "Wait! Please! Why am I here?"

The man paused for a moment before shuffling back to Near once again.

"I just did you a favor and now you want more from me? You're going to have to do something first and then I'll decide if I'm ready to tell you why you're being punished. Now open your mouth."

Near hesitated for a moment but then opened his mouth as he was told, desperately hoping he would be receiving food. However, somehow he knew that was what he was unlikely to get. Near tried to shut his mouth and throw his head backwards as he felt it pass his lips, but a sharp pull to his hair quickly stopped any form of resistance. The kidnapper's penis was fully in Near's mouth now and was growing harder by the nanosecond. Panic raced through Near's mind as the man trust repeatedly into his mouth, all the while firmly grasping a handful of Near's snowy hair. So many fleeting thoughts hit him all at once and seemed to cancel each other out. Near was too busy trying to figure out what to do and instinctively trying not to gag that he didn't consider what the end result was going to be.

The man groaned loudly as he came inside Near's mouth, thrusting himself deep enough to reach Near's tonsils. Near gagged hard, not wanting to swallow a single drop of him. He coughed and spit as the man slipped his spent penis out of Near's mouth, some of his seed dribbling down Near's chin and down his chest and the rest landing on his thighs. The man laughed sadistically as Near dry-heaved as nothing was in his stomach but a small amount of saliva. Bile burned the back of Near's throat as he took deep shuddering breaths to try and regain his composure. Tears fell down his cheeks as he was lewdly slapped in the face by his attackers half-flaccid penis in a final act of indignity. He wished he would die right there on the spot. Surely death had to be better than what he was going through now, and was likely to have to endure in the future.

"Please.... What do you want from me!??" Near screamed. The voice didn't even sound like his own anymore.

Wordlessly, the shuffling of feet started moving away from him again, followed by the metallic sounds of the door and then once again he was left to the haunting, deafening silence, now feeling dirty and soiled with the liquid evidence of what had just happened all over him.

* * *

Matt sat back on the sofa in Roger's office massaging his temples, trying to suppress a lingering headache that had been haunting him for days, brought on by sleepless nights, and hours of sporadic crying. He must have taken nearly a fistful of aspirin earlier and for the first time he was able to think somewhat clearly.

"Roger, where are the case files from the Kira case?" Matt asked.

"They've been in an archive in Japan but with some cooperation from the Japanese government I was able to convince them to send them via overnight freight. I'm hoping there will be something there that will help us with this case."

"Stop talking about this as if it's just another case! This is Near!" Matt shouted.

These days Matt was often quite irritable and would sometimes snap for seemingly no reason. Roger paused for a moment to give Matt an opportunity to calm down before replying.

"Matt. You need to think of this as just another case, otherwise you wont be effective in solving it. Emotional attachment does nothing but cloud the mind and make things that should be plain as day utterly confusing. I know it's hard..."

"Yes Roger, I know all of this. You've explained this to me already."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Roger walked across the room and answered it, and on the other side was a courier with a stack of boxes behind him. Roger signed for them and motioned for Matt to come.

"Our case files are here. Come and help me get them inside the office."

Matt was surprised to see that there were 10 full boxes of files, which probably amounted to over 10,000 pieces of paper. This was going to be a very long night. He just hoped that they were organized in some type of logical fashion. Knowing Near, they probably were.

The mountain of paper was overwhelming. Both Roger and Matt didn't leave the office for 2 days, occasionally taking involuntary naps when their eyes were too tired to see. Matt, being the younger of the two was able to stay awake for longer though and Roger decided to go into the next room for some good solid rest. Matt didn't want to sleep yet though. There was one conclusion that was haunting him for a while, and he just wanted to gather enough information before he acted.

He picked up the phone on Roger's desk and started to dial. He didn't notice Roger standing at the doorway watching him.

"Matt what are you doing?"

"Roger, has it ever occurred to you that the only person with the motive to do this is.... Hai Konbanwa. Eiga o hanasemasu ka? Iie? Dare ka onegaishimasu? Arigato, moteru yo. "

"Matt who are you calling?" Roger asked.

"Roger the only conclusion that I've come to is... Hi yes, do you speak English? Oh thank god. I'm calling from America from a private investigation team. I need to find out information about a prisoner there named Mikami. Yes I'll hold."

"Matt..."

"This is it Roger, this is the key. This is the only logical explanation. I cant believe you didn't realize this already....Yes I'm still here. What did you find?......WHAT?! Dead?!!! When?!! Suicide??? No that's all. Thanks for your time." Matt hung up the phone and clenched his fists, his palms digging into his nails. He took several deep breaths as he tried to control his anger.

"I could have told you that." Roger said.

"Fuck!!!!!!" Matt shouted as he kicked boxes, threw papers, and punched the surface of Roger's desk.

"Matt calm down! All you're doing is making a mess!"

"I thought I had it. I thought I found something that could put an end to this nightmare. If not Mikami then who? Who did this?!"

A/N:  
Good? Bad? Indifferent? Hit the little 'review' button and let me know! It makes me feel all fuzzy inside when I get a good review. It makes a bad day good. Do it for Near. He'd appreciate it. :)

Matt cried, barely able to get his words out. He collapsed to the ground sitting with his legs splayed outwards amongst a pile of paper and other debris he threw around. He cried pathetically until there was no more energy left in him and fell asleep in that position.


	10. Chapter 10

Darkroom

Chapter 10

Near could barely reply to the question he was just asked as he drifted in and out of consciousness, his limp body hanging from it's restraints like a lifeless piece of meat hanging in a freezer. He had yet to actually get any real sleep since he had been there. His thoughts lately drifted to Matt, often worrying about how scared his redheaded lover is right now and imagining him in their apartment alone, crying himself to sleep every night until Near comes home. He wasn't sure he'd ever make it home at this point. The only form of hope he had was a made-up vision of Matt entering this dark dungeon, surrounded by pure white light and rescuing him, pulling him away from this horror and into his warm embrace. Gentle hands carefully dismantling his bindings, his soft touch against his skin. The vibration from his chest while he spoke, telling him that everything was going to be ok now, that he was safe once again in his strong lover's arms.

"I said wake up! Are you hungry? This is the last time I'm going to ask you."

Near felt the gritty sole of a shoe nudge his cheek forcefully. He was coming out of it, and with hurried realization he replied before it was too late. He was hungry in fact. This went beyond stomach-hungry. He was malnourished. Even if his mind wanted to continue rebellion, his body didn't, and overrode that desire.

"Yes. Please. I need food." He heard his voice say, even though his conscious mind didn't even come up with the words.

He felt his bindings being released. His limbs didn't even feel his own anymore as he was allowed to move his arms once again. They could barely move, in fact it hurt a little when he tried, but the feeling was still refreshing. Next to be freed where his neck and legs. His knees were swollen from kneeling on the concrete for days and seared with agony when he tried to stand as he was told. He immediately crashed back down on them. The pain was so great that he collapsed completely onto the floor. His arms weren't even strong enough to hold himself up, at least not without several tries. He felt something being slid around his neck. It was a collar of sorts, attached to a lead. Several sharp pulls led him in the direction he was supposed to try to move.

It was difficult. He tried to stand again, but his legs failed him, and instead found himself being led around the room like a dog as he crawled on his hands and knees on the moist, gritty concrete floor. He heard the familiar sound of the door being swung open, however this time his retinas were seared by a blinding light. Without being given time to adjust to the new sensory input, another sharp tug on the leash was felt. He crawled closer to the source of the light. He could see the concrete transition to black and white checkered tiles, which felt positively luxurious on his chaffed skin before he felt his assailant lift his frail body up by the shoulders and sit him down into a cold steel chair. His eyes took a moment to focus, but when they came to, Near could see that he was in a typical, modest basement apartment's kitchen. He still had yet to see his assailant, as he was busy tying Near's legs to the chair and his wrists once again behind his back.

Finally the bastard loomed into view as Near tried to focus on the figure who's back was turned to him as he did something on the far side of the kitchen. He was of medium build and had dark, straight shoulder length hair, Near noticed. The man opened the door to a refrigerator, and pulled out a tray that had more food than Near had ever fantasized about piled on it. Near was so fixated on the collection of strawberry shortcake, fruit, a jar of peanut butter, cookies, and oddly enough, two triangles of onigiri that he nearly forgot to finally look into this man's face.

Near's locked eyes with his assailant. He confirmed his earlier suspicion that the person behind all of this was Japanese, due to the slight accent he detected during his brief encounters with him earlier. It was difficult to tell, since most of the words uttered to him were in the form of whispers and tainted with hollow echoes, but now that his weakened mind had more information to process, it clicked. He at least now had a somewhat solid idea of why he was here.

Wordlessly the man grabs a fork and slices off a piece of strawberry shortcake, and hovers it closely to Near's waiting mouth. Near's stomach started to groan instinctively the second the fork sank into the soft cake. He closed his eyes as he opened his mouth, imaging the sensation of the cake sliding down his throat. His heart jumped as he felt the cake brush his lips before rapidly being pulled away, leaving a glob of frosting behind. Before the overwhelming feeling of disappointment devoured him, Near frantically licked the frosting from his lips, savoring the sweet flavor on his tongue which melted almost instantly.

The man laughed sadistically as Near pathetically licked his lips clean.

"Please..." Near begged quietly.

"Did you like the little trick I played on you with the fake book?"

Near took a deep breath and shook his head adamantly.

"Did you think you were going to die?"

Near replied simply with a slow nod, never taking his eyes off the other man's.

"Oh I wouldn't have done that, not when you have something that I want."

Near narrowed his eyes, awaiting for the next set of words.

"Where is it?" The man asked in a sudden serious tone.

"Where's what?"

"Stop playing stupid. If you at least admit you know what I'm talking about you'll be allowed to eat more."

It hard to argue with, Near thought, especially when he was this desperate. Near stared for a moment and then finally decided to answer.

"You're talking about the Death Note." Near replied.

The fork, loaded with cake was brought his way again, and this time made it fully into his mouth. Near clamped his lips around the fork as it was pulled from his mouth. He savored the treat for a moment before masticating it and allowing it to slide down his throat. It was so incredible to him that he actually whimpered.

"You want more? Where is it?"

"I don't have it." Near simply replied.

"You're lying to me. You do have it and you're going to tell me where it is."

"I burned both of them immediately after I confronted it's previous owner. I don't have what you want. Keeping me captive here is pointless, although it seems you're enjoying the compromised position you're keeping me in." Near replied, with a sarcastic sideways smirk adorning his pale, dirt streaked face.

"You're still lying, and if you think I'm going to let you go that easily when you ruined the only salvation this world had against corruption and evil, you're mistaken. While Kira was in power the world was safe. People could walk the streets without fear, all the world's strife had come to an end, and you had to destroy it. You destroyed him. The second coming that various religions throughout the world had foretold, that who would pass judgment upon all forms of evil, from your common petty criminal to tyrannical dictators. You destroyed it all. It's not too late, however. It's not too late for an insignificant weakling of a boy such as yourself to right what you did wrong."

"Your command of the English language is impressive for a Japanese national. Who are you and how do you know about the death note?" Near replied.

"Who I am is unimportant to you. I'm your ruler, your creator and your judge all in one right now. You exist solely for me. I will make your existence insufferable until I get what I want. Do you understand?"

Near realized that he wasn't dealing with a stable person. Not that he thought he was completely sane to begin with, however now it seemed this man's delusions of grandeur pushed him far over the edge of insanity. There was no point in reasoning with him. No point in trying to use any common sense or logic.

"I don't have what you want, and even if I did I certainly wouldn't give it to a psychopath like you. I assume you searched my apartment thoroughly, and you didn't find it did you? You can see for yourself that I don't have it."

While Near was waiting for another psychotic rant from the man before him he was surprised as the chair he was sitting on was knocked over by a swift shove of his foot. Without any way to brace himself, Near fell hard and flat on his side, striking his head painfully on the floor. A quite white flash followed by serene buzzing and rushing sounds filled his consciousness. He wasn't even able to feel his forearm being fractured after being crushed with all his body weight between the back of the chair and the floor. This reality filled with delicious cakes and bright lights, and checkered floors, the first reality he ever certain of, the first thing all six of his senses where able to grasp onto was once again pulled away. He couldn't feel his body, and then he couldn't feel anything as the gray consumed his vision and his thoughts.

At some point his world went dark again. A sharp pain his his arm reminded him of the world which he now inhabited once again. The position was all to familiar to him, almost as if his joints had permanently modified themselves to stay that way forever. He didn't feel it necessary to say anything as he felt the harness being closed around his neck. A sharp pull to one of his snowy, curly locks forced him to pay attention to what followed.

"If you don't know where it is then maybe your boyfriend does. I have enough space in here for him as well."

Near's heart raced. He foolishly struggled against his restraints, something he learned long ago was ineffective. He pulled and pulled at the chains until he found his voice as the footsteps got further and further away.

"Leave him alone! Matt has nothing to do with this! He knows nothing! Leave him alone!!!" Near screamed at the top of his lungs as he heard the heavy steel door slam, leaving him with nothing but silence and worry for Matt to keep him occupied for an untold amount of time, still starving with nothing but a spoonful of cake to eat for days.

A/N:

Near is brave isn't he?


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry this took so long!! I've been so busy! I hope it was worth the wait.

Darkroom

Chapter 11

Matt placed his head against the window of the subway car as it rocked back and forth noisily, speeding through pitch dark tunnels at what seemed like a reckless speed. The rickety, almost dangerous feeling trains freaked him out a bit at first when he first came to this city, but now he was like the rest of the masses. Another mindless drone with a vacant stare, oblivious to the scary mechanical noises and vibrations emanating from all parts of the subway car that would cause most to pause with concern. He could almost feel the stare of one of the drones across from him, an Asian man in a dark green hooded sweatshirt pulled up over long, black stringy hair, messy, unkempt facial hair and a cold gaze that made Matt more than a little uncomfortable. Matt wasn't entirely unfamiliar with being stared at by a weirdo occasionally, but something about this person's ice cold examination made him highly uncomfortable.

Matt closed his eyes while silently musing over his paranoia. He only had a few more stops to go and he would be so much closer to home. So much closer to shutting his eyes and once again trying to sleep after another fruitless day, no closer to finding Near and no closer to having him back safely in his arms.

The time went quickly since Matt had drifted slightly asleep for a little while. Two more stops had passed and Matt raised one eyelid to see the man still there, although not staring so blatantly anymore. Matt rose to his feet as the train reached his stop, walking outwards into the crowd of people on the platform once the doors opened before trudging up the staircase to the street-level.

The air was pretty cold for late October, yet it was still. Still enough to hear footfalls behind him over his own. At first they went ignored. Afterall, hearing footsteps other than your own in New York City was nothing to get worked up over. It's almost expected actually. Something about the way they increased in speed had Matt on alert though. They weren't quite fast enough to be coming from a late-night jogger, yet they were way too quick for someone going for a stroll. They started to get closer. Matt clenched his fists in anticipation. They were much closer now, and the sound didn't change direction as would be expected if he were going to be passed by.

Matt had just began to wander back to the man on the train, when he felt cloth brush his neck. With his senses already on high-alert, Matt had little difficulty ducking out of the way before the invasive arm put him in a chokehold. He shoved hard against an unfamiliar torso and then side stepped a few feet before fully turning around and facing his attacker. As he feared, the face was familiar from just moments ago.

"What the fuck do you want from me? Money?!" Matt shouted.

There was no reply, just an empty stare. Matt looked down at the man's hands, noticing something glint in the streetlights. Matt's eyes widened when he saw the business end of the syringe that he was clutching. This wasn't a mugging, Matt realized. Nobody stabs you with a needle and injects you with something unless their intent is to kidnap you. Matt tightened his jaw as the realization washed over him. This had to be Near's kidnapper. This person was holding Near somewhere and now he was coming after him.

"Where's Near?" Matt asked.

The man's eyes opened wide with surprise, apparently not expecting Matt to reach this conclusion this quickly. He considered fighting Matt, but new it would be difficult and Matt wouldn't be that easy to take down. Behind Matt's eyes burned a fire that would cause most people to back down, in spite of his boyish features and slim body. The attacker started to back away before starting to run back in the opposite direction down the street.

"Where the fuck is he you bastard! What did you do to him!" Matt screamed as he took off after him.

Matt ran as fast as he could but this man wasn't easy to catch. It certainly didn't help that he was knocking over garbage cans and trying to create other obstacles for Matt as he scrambled down the street. The chase lasted for 3 whole blocks, the whole time Matt was running so fast he could hear the wind whistling past his ears. His stride was so long at this speed that he knew he was over-stretching the muscles in his legs and that he would pay for it later, however he didn't care. He pushed himself harder as his chest burned. He was starting to catch up. _Harder!! _He was just an arms length away now. Matt stretched out his arm hoping to grab the hood of his sweatshirt and pulling him back, hoping to knock him off his feet.

Matt felt his fingertips brush the cloth of the sweatshirt when suddenly he was looking at the ground as it loomed dangerously close. He hadn't been watching where he was going and his foot found a single, deep crack in the sidewalk that sent him soaring. Matt flew for what felt like 15 feet. He barely had enough time to protect his face with this arm before he hit the ground, skidding on his elbow and knee before barrel-rolling on the concrete a few times, finally coming to a stop.

His first instinct was to get up, get up and keep running at all costs. He pushed himself up off the ground, blood staining the sidewalk as it dripped from his knee. He spotted the man escape down a subway station from the corner of his eye. Gritting his teeth he took off again, ignoring the pain.

He clambered down the stairs and jumped over the turnstile, quickly reaching the platform where he saw several people sitting down on the benches waiting for the train to arrive. Several of them looked up as Matt skidded to a halt, frantically looking around for the elusive kidnapper. He was wild eyed, and breathing heavily, with a bloody hole torn in one of his jeans' legs and another one on his elbow.

"Anyone see a guy come running through here? Asian, green sweatshirt? Cmon...Anybody?!" Matt shouted. The few that did pay attention to him nervously broke eye contact and stared back at whatever magazine the were reading, afraid of the confrontation.

"Fuck!!!" Matt screamed before kicking over a garbage can, the loud clattering sound echoing through the subway tunnel. Several people jumped at the sudden sound. One nearby woman actually cowered in her seat. Realizing he was creating somewhat of a scene for himself, he decided to leave the subway tunnel and call the police before calling Roger.

"Roger, I saw him. I fucking saw the bastard. He tried to take me too. He had a needle, a fucking needle! He was going to drug me!" Matt ranted into the phone.

Matt started to feel lightheaded as the adrenaline wore off. The pain from his injuries started to throb causing bile to rise up in the back of his throat. His legs couldn't hold him anymore and he fell gently onto the sidewalk. He took several deep breaths, trying to prevent himself from passing out on the street. He started to notice the warm slick feeling running down his leg causing him to look at his bloodied knee, an action that pushed him over the edge. He started to sway as his vision got blurry. As consciousness slipped away from him he thought he noticed sirens and flashing lights.

Matt woke up hearing the chatter of EMT's. He gasped, sitting up in the back of the ambulance. They hadn't yet strapped him down or even shut the door. The only thing they had managed to do yet was cut Matt's pants off to tend to his badly skinned knee and the sleeve of his striped shirt to tend to his elbow. At least he was still wearing his shoes he noticed, as his eyes followed the trail of blood going down his leg and soaking into his sock.

He saw a policeman talking to Roger through the open door in the back of the ambulance.

"Hey.... Hey!!" Matt shouted as he carefully slid off of the stretcher, noticing how sore he was. His bandaged knee throbbed as he put his weight down.

"Sir don't get up..."

Matt ignored the EMT as he gingerly exited the back of the ambulance in his underwear. The cold air felt good against his legs.

"Roger! I saw him. I saw the bastard."

"Matt you should rest, you look like hell." Roger replied.

"There's no time. Officer, take me to the precinct so we can do a sketch or something while it's still fresh in my mind."

They brought Matt to the police station in his underwear where they had their artist create a sketch of the subject from Matt's description. Satisfied that the sketch looked very much like the person he saw, he accepted a ride back home. On the way, he had Roger arrange for the private security firm to spend the night since another attempt for the kidnapper to grab him while he was alone seemed possible.

Matt was pleased to see a familiar face when he got back to the apartment. Deitrich was standing in front of the doorway like a sentinel, arms crossed and with shoulders as wide as the doorframe.

"Hey. Come on in." Matt said as he limped from the elevator down the short hallway to the apartment.

Matt opened the door and let Deitrich inside to make sure the apartment was clear of any wrongdoers. Once confident the place was safe, Matt was led inside where he plopped down on the couch, leaning his head back and resting one of his palms against his forehead, slightly shielding his eyes from the lights overhead.

"You look like hell. Had a rough night?" Deitrich asked.

"Yeah you can say that, although this was mostly self-inflicted". Matt said, pointing downwards to his right leg, which was bare save for the red soaked bandage covering his knee.

"You should re-dress that wound. That bandage is soaked all the way through."

"I'm too tired. I'll do it tomorrow." Matt replied.

"Allow me to do it then. You don't want to get an infection."

"Are you sure?"

"I was a medic for a short while in the corps. I've seen worse than this."

Deitrich disappeared to the bathroom where he retrieved some gauze pads that he found in the medicine cabinet. When he returned he knelt down next to Matt and started to carefully remove the bandage. Matt shut his eyes tightly as the bandage stuck to his skin, crusted with dried blood and other material not necessary to mention.

"Aaaghh!!! That fucking hurts! Stop.. Just stop..."

"We've got to change this bandage unless you want an infection. You think it hurts now?" Deitrich replied before starting to pull again.

"Ok, ok stop..." Matt said, trying to get up from the couch and away from Dietrich.

Dietrich pushed Matt back down onto the couch with palm of his hand on Matt's chest. His hand was huge and powerful and Matt felt like he was nailed to the couch. He knew he wasn't going anywhere until this was done. This was more than just a scrape. A good chunk of flesh was gouged from his knee from the hard fall, nearly to the bone leaving raw nerves exposed. Matt whined though his nose as the pulling began again. Needing something to grip before he screamed, he clasped two hands around one of Deitrich's biceps. The man's arm was huge and solid as a rock.

"Go ahead. Squeeze as hard as you want." Dietrich said displaying a sly smirk.

Matt squeezed the man's arm as hard as he could. He almost wanted to see if he could hurt him, even just a little. As expected though, Dietrich didn't so much as bat an eye as Matt throttled his arm with all of this strength.

"Fucking Christ! Hurry it up! This is killing me!" Matt exclaimed through gritted teeth.

"Didn't you tell me that you were shot once?"

"Yes but I was unconscious for a long time! I didn't have to feel.... Owww!"

The last of the bandage finally pulled free. Matt breathed heavily as he relaxed his grip on the man's arm.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Dietrich said as he rubbed his palm on Matt's bare thigh.

Matt felt his face suddenly get flushed. He wasn't expecting the warm feeling of the hand on his thigh. His body started to react in a way that he had no control over as he sat on the couch in his boxers. This was getting far to weird for him.

"Umm.. I'm going to go to bed now." Matt said, nervously trying to get up. His injury wasn't allowing him to spring for the couch like he wanted to before his reaction became obvious. He paused for a second before latching onto Deitrich's arm again while he was pulled up to a standing position almost effortlessly. Matt turned towards the bed started to limp towards it.

"Don't you want me to redress the wound and re-bandage it?"

"No that's ok. It's better for the air to get to it."

"Are you sure?" Dietrich replied. Matt couldn't see the amused smirk on his face.

"Yes I'm sure. Thanks though."

Matt approached the bed and pulled the covers back before carefully trying to climb into it, trying not to scrape his raw knee against the mattress while keeping his back turned to the man still standing behind him. A certain part of his body was standing at full attention now, very much against his will. He hadn't 'gotten any' since Near's been gone and his libido was hyperactive despite all the worry that still bubbled at the forefront of Matt's mind.

"You want me to help you into bed?"

"No!! No... I'm fine." Matt said before sliding in between the sheets, finally safe from view.

The last thing he needed was Dietrich's big strong hands wrapping around his thin frame and picking him up like a toy. As he laid there on his side, facing the window he considered taking care of his problem the next time he was alone, even though he felt horrible even considering it given the current situation. He longed for Near's body pressed against his own again, burying his face in his soft snowy hair, smelling fresh and clean while he wraps his arm around Near's torso, sliding his palm up and down his silken skin, listening to the faint whimper that he would make as he slipped into dreamland.

"I swear to god if he's hurt I'll kill the motherfucker." Matt whispered to himself.

Matt started to wonder again who this person could be. He searched his memory of the man's face, trying to see if he could remember any clues. Matt was blessed with a photographic memory, something that neither Near nor Mello even had. However as good as his memory was it still needed time to sort out all the details and make the completed picture. It required concentration, which isn't something he had while at the police station doing the sketch.

He remembered a tattoo on his neck. It was small, and Matt probably only caught a fleeting glimpse of it in that darkened street, but it was now clearly visible to him. On the side of the his neck were the characters 怒り. Matt had studied a good amount of Japanese while he lived there. He spoke fairly well, at least enough to get by or have a casual conversation with a stranger, but his mastery of the Japanese writing system wasn't particularly great. Still however, without knowing what the tattoo means, he could say with certainty that it's most definitely Japanese, indicated by the second hiragana character.

He had a feeling this would link to Japan one way or the other, and the only person there that knew who Near was, and would likely hold a grudge is Mikami himself, who Matt unfortunately found out is already dead by his own hand. There had to be someone else involved. Matt was sure of it. Someone who was close to Mikami. While there were many Kira supporters that likely would love to get a hold of Near, there's little chance of any of them finding out who he is. Unless Mikami told them.

He glanced at the clock.

_4:02 AM_

Matt threw the covers off and jumped out of bed, forgetting how badly injured his knee was, and nearly falling onto the floor below. Deitrich was still awake, even though he had darkened the room to make it easier for Matt to sleep.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I think I just had a revelation."

Matt called the prison again, and got in contact with the same English speaking person he had talked to before.

"I need to know, did Mikami spend any time with a cell-mate?"

"No he was in solitary confinement."

"Is there anyone he had regular contact with?" Matt asked.

"Well that would be his warden, that's the only person that saw him regularly."

"Where is this warden now?"

Matt could hear flipping of pages in the background as the representative on the phone checked their records.

"It appears he resigned approximately 2 weeks after prisoner Mikami committed suicide."

"Who is he? I need all of his information faxed to me immediately. I'll contact Interpol if necessary."

The person on the other end was reluctant but agreed to send as much info as he had on him. Matt thumbed through the pages that appeared on the fax, staring at a grainy identification photo that cast no shadow of a doubt. This man was definitely the culprit, as far as Matt could tell.

Matt wasted no time phoning Roger and waking him to tell him what he had found. Roger contacted Immigration and Customs and confirmed that a man bearing the name Daisuke Tanashita(棚下大輔) had indeed entered the US via JFK airport 2 months prior. His whereabouts since that time are unknown.

"It's getting so close Roger, I can feel it! This bastard has no idea how screwed he is. The police are going to find him in no time at all."

"Matt I hate to tell you this but have you considered how this person might react if he knows there's a good chance he's about to get caught? Near's safety may be very much at risk at this point."

"Shit. Do always have to give me something extra to worry about Roger?"

A/N:  
Psst... was it good? FYI I'm working on another one... a crossover fic. It involves DN and another popular series. I wont divulge any more details than that. Please review this chapter if you didn't think it was too bad. Kthxbai.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry it's been so long! All my readers are so wonderful and patient.

Darkroom

Chapter 12

"Eventually I'm going to lose my patience with you. It's going to happen very soon," Tanashita said as he dragged Near back into his makeshift dungeon, "I suggest you start talking now."

"I have nothing to say to you, I've already told you." Near replied as he was shoved back down onto his knees, sensing the familiar feeling of the straps around his shoulders and bindings around his ankles sliding into place.

Suddenly a repetitious banging was heard from the next room, followed by the sound of a door opening.

"Daisuke! Daisuke are you in there? I need to talk to you!" A mans voice called out from the next room.

"Shit!" Tanashita exclaimed through gritted teeth. He pulled sharply at Near's matted white hair and growled into his ear, "Not a fucking word out of you. Not even a sound. Got it?"

Near nodded in understanding and listened as Tanashita quickly bolted out of the room before the visitor started to explore.

"I thought you said you were going to pay the rent last Friday..." Near heard the voice trail off as they both went outside and shut the door behind them.

Near's heart froze as a twitch of his leg brought him to realize that in his haste, he had barely tied him up at all. He knew this was probably the only opportunity he was going to get to make an escape, but actually taking the first step was so incredibly difficult. He was afraid, so afraid as to what might happen to him if he got caught. He also realized that there was little chance he'd make it out of here alive anyway even if he did play by the rules if this man didn't get what he wanted.

He shifted his legs and managed to free one of his ankles from the grasp of the strap, using his toe to push it off of the other. He carefully stood up, his legs still weak and slid the harness straps off his shoulders and down his arms. He didn't have time to tie his wrists behind his back yet so Near had no trouble completely freeing himself from the various bindings put in place to keep him here forever.

He crept shakily towards the dungeon door which hadn't been latched. He pulled it open slightly and peered through the crack. There was nobody there. A glance through a slat in the window blinds showed his assailant engaged in conversation roughly 15 feet away from the front door of the apartment. Tanashita's back was facing the apartment which gave him a slight chance of slipping out unnoticed. Of course the other person whom he was talking to was another potential problem and was likely to have some sort of reaction to a naked boy sneaking out of his apartment.

He looked around for his clothes, trying to leave at least a small shred of his dignity intact. They weren't anywhere obvious and he didn't really have the time to scour the whole place for them. He had to go now or go back into the dungeon and tie himself back up, which was going to be nearly impossible to do. He was past the point of no return now.

He cracked open the door to the apartment and felt the crisp air hit his bare form. The sounds of the two men's voices could finally be heard. They definitely seemed to be arguing. Near had known from the beginning that the visitor was in fact his landlord coming to collect overdue rent. Tanashita was pretending that he was having trouble understanding English, possibly in an attempt to cause confusion or frustration so the man would simply leave. Near opened the door further and saw something that would block their view of him leaving. A Jeep Cherokee, most likely belonging to the landlord was idling in front of the door. Near looked around at the surroundings of the apartment and realized that he definitely wasn't in the city anymore and that the area surrounding the apartment was fairly desolate and surrounded by woods.

He eyed the idling vehicle and decided that it might be his best chance, despite the fact that he's never driven any type of motor vehicle before and hadn't had any sort of training, formal or informal. He could get away very far very quickly, and not have to worry about being hunted down in the woods like an animal.

The ground directly in front of the apartment was gravel and dirt, which hurt his tender feet as he carefully and stealthily crept towards the drivers door of the Jeep. He wrapped his hand around the handle and slowly pressed the release button, popping the door open quietly. He swung the door open slowly and prepared to hop into the drivers seat when the door hinge emitted a horrible squeaking sound.

"Hey!"

Near could hear the vehicle's owner call out to him. He quickly jumped inside and slammed the door, watching in horror in the rearview mirror as both men sprinted towards the vehicle. With a shaky hand he attempted to slam the gearshift lever into drive, but wasn't immediately successful, not realizing that one needs to step on the brake first before the vehicle will allow that to happen. He was prodding the pedals with his bare feet, trying to get something, anything to happen. The shifter was finally freed and pulled all the way back to low gear. Near mashed the throttle to the carpet just as the driver's door opened. The man was thrown to the ground as the vehicle took off, tires spinning uncontrollably on the loose surface.

Something was definitely wrong. Near couldn't keep the Jeep going straight and managed to get only a mere 50 or so feet away before missing the first turn on the dirt road, sending the vehicle hurtling into the ditch, and rolling over onto it's side. Near's unrestrained body left the driver's seat and landed up against the passenger's door, smacking his head and shoulder into the shattered glass that was once the window, grinding his shoulder in between the shards and pavement below.

"Who the hell was that? He came from your apartment! Why wasn't he wearing clothes! Look what the fuck he just did to my truck!" The landlord bellowed as he stumbled to his feet, "You've got some explaining to do. Maybe the cops should figure out why a naked boy just came out of your apartment and stole my truck."

The man pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started to dial. Tanashita strolled over to the man casually while pulling a folding knife from his back pocket and flipping it open. The man looked up only for a split second when Tanashita smacked the phone out of his hand, sending it skittering off onto the ground and then plunging the knife into his stomach. The man cried out in agony while doubling over onto the blade. Tanashita pulled it out and repeatedly started jabbing it back in to the man's abdomen, making a new puncture each time. He continued until the man's screams stopped and he became heavy before pushing him away to flop onto the ground. Blood and other matter spattered the killer's shoes, pants, and the ground around them.

Near frantically tried to right himself, but he was quite disoriented from the crash. With a start he remembered where he was and the imminent danger he was in. His body supplied him with another adrenaline rush, and he struggled to right himself and escape before he was trapped by his tormenter. He stood up, unknowingly cutting his bare feet on the broken glass. He climbed to the other side of the vehicle, the side that was facing up, and bracing himself against the center console he unlatched the door and tried to push it open and keep it there while he maneuvered himself up and out of the wreck. It was difficult with gravity working against him and one of his wrists still broken, but he managed to get out just in time to see the vehicle's owner fall to the floor in front of his assailant in the distance. Near paused for a second as the man's cold stare bore into him and made him shiver, even from that distance, before he bolted off into the woods adjacent to the road.

Near panted heavily as he scrambled through the woods. It was too dark to see and he didn't know what he was stepping on, running into, or even what direction he was going. Leaves and low branches smacked into his face as he ran past, leaving small scratches on his baby smooth face and narrowly missing his eyes. He fell once after tripping over something, but quickly got up and resumed his pace as he heard the sounds of a twig being stepped on in the distance behind him. He was being followed for sure. He had to lose him, Near thought. He had to get away. He could see lights ahead but he was getting tired out. He grunted and whimpered as his legs started to get tired and painful, his feet started to sting due to the cuts from the glass, and his movements became less accurate. His stride, sloppy. He maintained his speed though, running faster than one would think he would be capable of, and just when he felt another rush of adrenaline course through him, just when the pain in various parts of his body started to subside and the lights in the distance could finally be recognized as a gas station a mere 100 feet ahead, he felt the ground squish between his toes. Near fell forward and slid through the slick mud for what must have felt like several feet on his side before coming to a stop. He was disoriented and couldn't get his balance as he slipped once again trying to stand, falling back down into the mud. He heard the foot steps behind him getting perilously close, and started to scramble on all fours, clawing his way out of the muddy trap.

It was too late. Tanashita grabbed a fistful of Near's mud stained hair from the back of his head and pulled sharply, wrapping the locks around his hand so that Near couldn't pull free whether he could stand the pain or not. Near screamed as it felt like the man was tearing his scalp off, hoping he could be loud enough for someone to hear, but he had all to soon tossed Near onto his back and wrapped his hand around his neck, closing off his airway. Near flailed and struggled and kicked, clawing at the arm that threatened to put him out for good.

WHAM.

The first flash of white light filled Near's vision as the first punch landed, squarely on his left cheekbone. Near struggled and clawed harder, but again WHAM. He was hit again and again, each time he felt less and less until all sensation faded away and he lost consciousness to the repeated blows against his face and side of his head. His hands loosened from around the man's arm and fell to the side. Kuro released his neck and panted heavily, staring at the bloodied and mud covered mess beneath him, who was wheezing as he labored to breathe through a constricted windpipe. He nearly killed him that time, so consumed with rage. He couldn't waste any more time. He needed his answer now and he wouldn't hold back any longer. He heaved Near's body up over his shoulder and carried him back off into the dark woods, back to the apartment. He had to clean up the body of his landlord, and get rid of the wrecked Jeep before anyone else saw them. He needed to tie Near back up in the makeshift dungeon before he could do so, and he wouldn't be so careless this time, he would nail Near's hands and feet to the floor if he needed to.

"None of our searches have turned up fruitful, I'm afraid." The voice on the other end of the phone said to Matt.

"That's all you have to say to me? I've gotten you everything. His name, his history, what he looks like! What else do you need to do your fucking jobs?"

"I'm sorry, we're doing our best..."

Matt hung the phone up and in another one of his fits of rage flipped the dining room table over against the wall, scraping the paint off and tearing off a heating vent on the way down. Near would probably kill him if he saw what he had just done, and Matt made a mental note to repair everything before Near came home. He's already been through a traumatic experience, the last thing he needs when he finally gets home is to see his apartment half destroyed. 'I really need to get control over myself', Matt thought to himself.

He laid on the couch for a little while completely lost in thought, yet at the same time it seemed as if he was thinking of nothing, as if every fleeting thought that came to him disappeared almost instantly after being processed, making it seem as if he had done nothing and thought of nothing at all for the past few hours.

Peeling himself from the couch he stared at the mess he caused and decided to clean it up and fix any damage he caused. He first turned the table upright again and moved it away from the wall to give him room to straighten things up. He gathered the mess of paper on the floor and placed it back onto the table. He then moved onto the matter of reattaching the heating vent to the wall. Before he placed it back over the hole in the wall, he noticed something inside the duct. Something wrapped in a black plastic bag was sitting inside, covered with dust.

He reached in and pulled it out, opening the bag and pulling out the contents. A shiver went up his spine and he suddenly felt very cold as he stared at the object.

"It's about time you found it. I've been pretty bored." A voice said behind Matt.

Matt turned around slowly, cautiously, and screamed as he stared into the eyes of the 7 foot tall shinigami towering over him.

"What the... What the fuck are you!"

"Heh Heh... I guess you've never seen a death god before." The towering creature mused.

"What?"

Matt clambered backwards frantically even though the shinigami made no move towards him.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. Don't you realize what you're holding?"

It had started to all click together even though Matt still couldn't believe it. Matt was told of the existence of shinigami and how they are the true owners of the death notes. He could never imagine something so surreal and flat out terrifying however. He looked back downwards at the book in his hand.

"Near. Why did you keep this?" He whispered.

"Because it's so much fun! Besides, you never know when it might come in handy. Although he just lets it sit there, a truly boring human." Ryuk said.

"This is probably why he was kidnapped. Tanashita wants this."

"And yet you have the upper hand my friend. Don't you know that you can put an end to this right now?"

"You want me to kill him? With this?"

"That's an idea. Unless you can't handle it of course, you can relinquish ownership back to me and I'll disappear back to the death god realm."

"I'm not sure if I can. This thing is pure evil." Matt said, shaking his head.

"Do you want me to tell you what's been happening where your boyfriend's been staying? Would that help?"

"He's alive?"

"Yes he is, but I'm afraid it wont be for much longer. His assailant is starting to become more and more impatient as time goes on."

There was no doubt in Matt's mind, this was the only way. He had to do this on his own. He couldn't involve the police, Roger, or anyone else either.

"How do I do this?" Matt asked.

"Well the first thing would be to get a pen. Then write his name down while imagining his face. You can write the exact method of death next to it if you want, otherwise he'll simply die of a heart attack 40 seconds after you finish writing the name."

Matt found a pen on the floor that had been on the desk earlier. His hands were shaking as he started to write the first letter.

"Wait... How am I going to find Near? He'll be trapped wherever he is and I wont know how to get to him."

"I can tell you where he is. But you have to do something for me first." Ryuk said.

Matt had his apprehensions, he knew that the beast had probably thought up a scheme that would have him indebted for eternity. He had no choice though, and would do anything to get Near out of danger and back home where he belonged.

"What is it. What do you want?"

"An apple."

"What?"

"An apple. Round, red, sweet and delicious."

"A fucking apple?"

Ryuk tilted his head in confusion, wondering why this would be such a difficult request to fulfill.

"They seem to be plentiful in the human world, is my request so unreasonable?"

"No! It's not that. It's just...strange." Matt answered.

"Do you have an apple?"

"No."

"Do you know where to get apples?" Ryuk asked.

"Well, yes of course..."

"Then get some."

Matt scrambled to his feet and hastily put his shoes on, nearly tripping in the process before running out the door and scrambling to the elevator. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that all this apparition wanted was an apple before giving him information so important he'd likely give his left arm if asked.

He ran at top speed down the street to the grocery store, and once inside skidded to a stop in the produce aisle before grabbing an armful of apples in all different styles and varieties. He dropped half of them along the way to the the cashier who eyed him strangely as she slowly placed the apples in a plastic bag.

"Oh could you please hurry the fuck up?" Matt shouted.

She stopped and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Oh _hell_ no you did not just tell me to 'hurry the fuck up'. Do I work for you or something? What just because I'm over here behind this damn counter making barely enough money to pay my rent that you could just come in here, make a huge ass mess dropping apples all over the place and then tell **me** to hurry the fuck up? I don't know what world you live in but you need to show respect..."

Matt snatched the bag of apples and ran out of the store as fast as he could, not wasting another moment listening to the cashier's tirade.

He flew back into the apartment where Ryuk was still standing, with a wide grin on his face.

"Here. Take them, take all of them." Matt said, shoving the bag of apples into Ryuk's hands.

"Heheh... Nice work. This look delicious."

Ryuk bit one of the apples in half, swallowed it core and all.

"The location." Matt asked.

"Oh? You have to write the name first."

"C'mon seriously?"

"That's the deal."

Matt picked the notebook back up and finished writing the name, looking up at Ryuk after he had written the last letter.

"That's it? Don't be so boring. One would think you'd want to be a bit more creative after your boyfriend's been beaten and used as a sex slave for all this time."

Matt nearly vomited in his lap at the thought. He was so overcome with rage at that point as imagined images of Near being tortured physically and sexually that he grabbed the pen and started to write so hard he nearly went through the page.

"There you go. That's much more exciting." Ryuk said, biting another apple.

"The location. Tell me where he is. Now."

"Across the water in the body of land you humans call New Jersey. Although I'm not sure of the exact address..."

"Oh c'mon, don't be a dick."

"Show me a map and I'll point it out to you."

Matt showed Ryuk a map of New Jersey on the computer. Ryuk would point to locations on the map and tell Matt to zoom in on that spot. They got it down to a particular neighborhood in a wooded area of Essex County, but the lack of response from Ryuk as he stared at the screen blankly was maddening to Matt.

"You don't know which one it is, do you."

"..."

Matt was about to choke the death god, even though he would be very unlikely to hurt him, when an idea came to him.

"Wait... you fly everywhere right? So you should know what the top of the buildings look like, right?" Matt clicked the "satellite view" button and watched Ryuk's eyes widen. "What about now?"

Ryuk pointed out a particular building on the map, and Matt zoomed in closer to it. It was what appeared to be a large, spread out single floor apartment building surrounded by woods.

"Yeah that's it. He's on this side." Ryuk pointed out the unit that was facing the woods.

"529 River Edge Road, Fairfield, NJ. Got it."

Matt grabbed his cell phone and called Roger.

"Roger get the car and come pick me up, I know where Near is."

"How do you know? What did you discover?"

"I'll tell you later, Roger. Just hurry up and get me now. We'll call the police after we get there."

"Wont we be in danger if this person is still lurking about? Shouldn't we contact the police first?"

"If Tanashita _is_ still alive then I'm going to claw his throat out with my bare hands. I want the first face Near sees to be mine. Besides, this may be a false lead and I'd rather not the get the police involved until we're sure."

Roger sighed on the phone.

"I suppose Matt. I'll get ready to leave now."

"Hurry the fuck up Roger, and when you get here I'll drive the rest of the way. You drive slow as shit."

Matt closed his phone and stuffed it back in his pocket. He took a deep breath and stared at the death note on the table, hoping that it worked. Tanashita should be dead for at least 10 minutes now. Matt had already begun to feel pangs of regret at having used it. Not that he was against killing this person, but because he'd rather have done it himself, with his own hands. Brutally and violently. He wanted to bathe in Tanashita's blood, but now the most he could do was kick and spit on his dead corpse.

"Of course you don't mind if I follow and watch, right?" Ryuk said.

Matt sighed and shook his head, almost wishing he could laugh at the bizarre creature sitting on his sofa.

"Sure, knock yourself out."

Roughly 5 minutes later Roger had called Matt to let him know he was outside and waiting. Matt raced outside and took the helm of Roger's Jaguar. Matt had estimated that it would take them approximately 35 minutes to reach the place, however the traffic at the Lincoln Tunnel threatened to turn it into more like an hour. Roger could see the veins in Matt's temple flare as he gritted his teeth and gripped the steering wheel as traffic moved at a snail's pace. Roger thought better of saying anything though, because it looked like the boy was about to snap.

Once out of the tunnel, Matt accelerated through the gaps in traffic until the highway was clear enough for him to maintain a speed in the low triple digits. Roger squirmed in his seat, and often raised his hand as if he were about to say something.

"Shut the fuck up Roger. I'm not slowing down."

"If not for the sake of our lives Matt, you don't want to get stopped by the police because that will complicate matters quite a bit."

"I'm not stopping for them either."

A/N:

Hope it was worth the wait. Matt's really pissed off isn't he? But what happened to Near in the meantime? What's Matt going to find when he gets there? What did he write in the DN? You'll just have to wait for the next installment, which BTW is 75% done, so should be done soon. Please review!


	13. Chapter 13

Darkroom

Chapter 13

Near felt bones rattle as he collided against the cold floor of the dungeon. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness as Tanashita carried him over his shoulder back from where he had caught him in the woods. Near's body jolted as Tanashita poured a bucket of cold water on him. The sensation felt like being slapped all over your whole body all at at once. He was fully awake now, and everything hurt. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched as watery blood dripped onto the floor from his face. It was a lot of blood, reminding him of how badly his face had been pummeled. It was horribly agonizing, and he whimpered pathetically as he tried to get onto his knees.

Once he was finally on all fours, he felt all the wind leave his lungs as Tanashita dealt a hard kick to his side. The stabbing pain that accompanied as he gasped for air meant a rib was certainly broken. As he landed back on his side, even crying was nearly impossible. He could barely hold a breath as the tears silently streamed from his bloodied face. Any time he tried to take a somewhat deep breath, a sharp pain seared through his chest. He was rolled onto his back, and he felt his arms being stretched out to his side as straps were tied around them, lashing him to the ground. This was it, he was too weak to fight him anymore.

"The charade stops now..." Tanashita said.

Near could hear the sounds of the man unfastening his belt buckle, followed by the sound of a zipper and cloth being dropped to the floor. He blinked his blurry eyes several times until he was able to see the man standing in front of him, fully aroused.

"Noooo!" Near cried out.

"I'm going to fuck you until you tell me everything I want to know. I will tear you apart from the inside, and the outside if necessary."

Near noticed he was holding the knife he'd stabbed the man outside with. It still had his blood on it. Near's heart started to panic as the man got on his knees, approaching him with his hardened member. Near tried to struggle by kicking his legs around, but was quickly settled as the point of the knife pressed against his neck. He could feel a small trickle of blood run down his neck from the small puncture.

Tanashita spread Near's legs apart forcefully, lifting him up slightly. He leaned into him. Near could feel his breath against his cheek as he pushed his hardened member up against Near's tightly constricted entrance. Without even the benefit of a little saliva to help things go in more smoothly, he started to shove himself inside.

"AAAH! STOP! PLEASE DONT!" Near screamed.

Near tried to thrash around under the man's weight but with a broken wrist, one or two broken ribs, and a knife cutting into his throat, it was futile to even try. He gritted his teeth as more of the man's length forced itself inside. It felt like he was being torn open. He screamed as loud as he could, although it only seemed to excite the man even further.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Fuck you!" Near screamed.

He plunged his full length into Near quickly and brutally. Near thought he was going to pass out from the pain and blood loss. He felt the tip of the knife being dragged down his neck and to his collarbone where it started to dig in, striking a nerve that had caused him to start wailing again. He'd reached the breaking point. He wanted it to end. He would do and say anything to make this torture stop. As he opened his mouth to speak, it was as if he did it involuntarily, like his inner conscience was screaming at him to stop, but was powerless.

"In.. In my apartment. Behind one of the heating vents! Wrapped... wrapped in black plastic..It's there! It's fucking there! Please get off of me! I just want to go home! I cant take this anymore. Please stop!" Near was barely intelligible as the words left his mouth.

The man sneered happily, yet continued his ruthless pounding into Near, and in fact he'd started to pick up the pace. His breathing staggered. He was getting close..

"No... PLEASE! DONT!"

Near was wishing for his own death. Had he survived this, he doubted he'd ever be able to look Matt in the eye again. Let alone be touched by him. Matt was always so gentle with his body, always so careful not to hurt him. He was ruined as far as he was concerned. Tainted and dirty. He wished the man would plunge the knife right into his heart and end him right there, especially now that he'd basically given him the most deadly weapon in history, and he'd likely not think twice of killing Matt when he came to retrieve it.

The man had suddenly stopped a moment later, buried to the hilt inside Near. It didn't seem as if he'd climaxed. There weren't the usual indications of it. No change in facial expression, pace, or breathing. Near closed his eyes, figuring the man was was twisted enough to kill him now, and climax inside of him as he died. However he felt the knife being withdrawn from his neck. Near opened his eyes, watching as the man stared fixedly at the knife. What happened next he could never have expected.

The man turned the knife around to face himself and slashed his own cheek. His facial expression was clam, collected, as if he couldn't even feel what was doing, but it seemed as if he couldn't control himself. He continued to repeatedly slash at his face, effectively slicing it to ribbons. Near was horrified as blood and chunks of flesh spattered him below, dripping down his face, neck and chest. Matt had found the Death Note. He knew it had to be that. He'd saved him, even though at this point he wasn't sure if he even wanted saving. At the very least, this man would never get the chance to use the cursed book.

Near thought he was going to be sick as the man continued to tear away at his face until he was completely unrecognizable, covering Near with globs of gore. Matt had really been angry, he'd supposed in order to write out such a brutal suicide. Finally, after half of his own face had been cut off, leaving exposed bone and muscle, he plunged the knife into his left eye, burying it deep into his brain. He collapsed on top of Near, who had to quickly tilt his neck to the side to prevent from being hit with the handle of the knife in his face. Tanashita's body shook and spasmed as he died, holding Near in a macabre embrace. He was still inside of him, a fact that sickened Near to no end. Knowing that he would remain this way until they were found. Near felt the world around him spin as the adrenaline wore off, and he slipped back into unconsciousness.

A/N: I think this may have been the sickest, most twisted thing I've ever written. I hope it wasn't too brutal. I was a little cranky when I wrote it. It was 100F out, the A/C wasn't working and I was hot and sweaty and irritable. Sorry Near that I took it out all on you.

Near: "I really did not appreciate it, I hope you know."

Me: "Don't worry Near, this story is over soon. Then you'll get a nice little break before I post the next story, which is already mostly written."

Near: "And what will you have me doing in this new, wonderful piece of literary greatness?"

Me: "I cant tell yet. But I think our readers are going to like it."

Near: "..."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry guys the delay in getting this chapter out has been inexcusable. While I'd admit that I lost my fervor for this story, that's not your fault, as you've all stuck with me. There's nothing worse than reading many chapters of a story never finished. So I HAD to belt this one out and let it stop guilting me while I write other things. I'll admit it isn't my greatest. I've been reading so much good fanfic lately! So much AMAZING fanfic! It kinda gets me down at times because I don't feel I could write nearly as well as my favorite authors do. Whether it be due to them having a better vocabulary, or simply being more creative. I want to write an epic saga! HOF2 is a saga, but not epic IMO. I also feel I might do better by moving to a different fandom, something I've already experimented with by writing a Kuroshitsuji one-shot, and I'm also silently working on a Death Note- Kuroshitsuji crossover, which to be honest I've put on hiatus as well since I think it's gratuitous and nobody would find it interesting. I do have Kuroshitsuji fever lately, and I expect that a lot of my writing will take off in that direction. Ciel is more fun to write than Near, because unlike Near, he actually _does_ show emotion. I think this is why I tend to write Near so OOC at times, because I really wish he was something different. Then again, is OOC really that bad? It's a fine line I think. Worry not Death Note fans, I haven't abandoned the fandom yet. I am working on yet another DN fic. Gevanni X Near this time. I think it's a hot pairing and there's hardly any fics out there for it. This one may be awesome or crap, depending on how you see it. :) I'm not even sure how I see it yet. I'm doing my best and that's all that matters. Sorry for rambling. Thanks for hanging in there for me. I hope this final (and somewhat rushed) chapter is to your liking. It's not the sugar coated, bubblegum happy ending that some might hope for. But real life isn't always sugar coated and bubblegummy anyway. Please review.

Darkroom

Chapter 14

Matt pulled down the dirt path that was indicated on the map. The muscles at the base of his temples were taught, bulging as he grit his teeth. Even though he knew the assailant was more than likely already dead, he couldn't wait to get his hands on him and destroy whatever was left of his corpse. He'd reached the place at last.

Flinging the door of the car open and bolting out as it barely came to a stop, he grasped the knob of the apartment door. It was locked. He kicked the door with all his might, but it was as if the solid door seemed to laugh at him. He collided his shoulder with it, all 120 lbs of him. Nothing at all. He rammed it over and over again, bones straining against the impact until he heard the wood of the door frame start to splinter. He continued onward, even harder, not caring about the injury he might be causing himself, blood teeming with adrenaline.

The door had finally flung open, crashing against the wall loudly, exposing a rather dismal, dirty small apartment. Dishes piled up in the sink, and with furniture from the 70's or early 80's at best. He peered around the small area for where Near might be. He had spotted a steel door in a recessed part of the wall. That must be it, he supposed. Lurching at the door he twisted the knob, relieved to find it unlocked. He wouldn't be able to break through this one as easily, as he'd barely managed with the last one.

The first thing that hit him when the door swung open was the horrendous smell, bad enough in fact to momentarily halt his progress. The room reeked of a mixture of human waste, mildew, and blood. He suppressed the urge to wretch, placing his forearm over his nose. His arm slowly sank however, as his eyes focused in the dim light of the dark room. Underneath a single bare incandescent bulb that hung from the ceiling, was a man holding Near down in a missionary position, his manhood buried balls deep inside of him.

Consumed with rage he lunched forwards, grabbing the lifeless body by the waist and pulling him off of his lover and throwing it on it's side. He hadn't bothered to even look at the face, which was carved and destroyed in exactly the manner he had specified. He wasted no time in kicking the limp body as hard as he could, snapping bones and moving it across the floor inches at a time, cursing and spitting loudly.

"Matt!" Roger called out from the doorway.

Matt stopped his attack on the corpse as he snapped back to attention, diverting his attention to Near, his legs turning to jelly at the sight before him. He wasn't even recognizable. Not only due to the blood and torn flesh that was absolutely covering his naked body and staining his pure white hair, his face was absolutely pummeled. One of his eyes was blackened and swollen completely shut. There were several swollen lumps on the sides of his head. His lower lip was split and twice it's normal size. His neck was covered with deep, bleeding scratches. He looked grotesque. The face of his lover that had once had been so beautiful and flawless was hideously disfigured, his body pinned to the ground like an insect in an examination dish.

Matt sank to his knees in front of Near, extending a shaking hand, afraid to even touch him. There was so much blood, he didn't know which of it was his or where else he might have been injured that wasn't immediately apparent.

"Near... Oh God Near..." He whimpered as a deluge of tears began to flood from his eyes.

Roger stared in shock from the doorway as Matt started to check Near's vital signs. He was alive, as indicated by shallow breaths and a faint pulse felt from the side of his neck.

"Roger... Call an ambulance. Call them now."

Roger, without replying, quickly pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and stepped away from the doorway to place the call. Matt gently stroked the side of Near's face with the back of his fingers.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry he did this to you. I tried to stop it as fast as I could. I tried so hard to find out where he'd taken you. I'm sorry I came so late. Please be ok. Please..." Matt sobbed, wanting nothing more than to hold him tight and hear his voice tell him he was ok. A little bruised, but ok. He knew he was in rough shape though, and what frightened him was that he didn't even know how bad it was, just how bad the damage to Near's body had been.

"Matt." Near said.

His voice was dry, raspy almost gurgling. Matt noticed Near had one eye half opened, just enough to fix his gaze on him. He took another shallow breath, possibly attempting to speak again.

"You don't have to talk. I know it hurts. An ambulance is on it's way. I'm staying with you. I wont ever let you go again."

"He... He raped me." Near said. He wanted to cry but was completely unable to. He looked away, too afraid to look Matt in the eye, too mortified to be seen by him in this undignified manner.

"It's ok Near. It's ok. I don't care. I love you just the same. You're still as pure and beautiful as you always have been to me. Please don't worry about that. Just hang in there. Help is on it's way."

Matt unfastened the shackles that were restraining Near's arms to the floor. He noticed the blue bruising around his left wrist, and assuming it was broken he carefully lifted his arm and placed it at Near's side.

As they waited for the ambulance, Matt kept talking to Near in a soothing tone, hoping to keep him conscious and to keep him from talking, as it seemed to require a good deal of effort. Matt knew there was tons for Near to tell, but he'd have to wait until he had the energy.

The ambulance and a barrage of police had finally arrived. Matt had taken off his jacket and placed it over Near's lower half to preserve what was left of his dignity.

A police officer followed by an EMT were the first to rush in the room, pausing suddenly at the gory scene.

"What the fuck... You.. Step away from him and back up to the wall."

Matt protested at first, but did as he was told, letting the paramedics have access to Near. It took a moment for Roger and Matt to convince the police, with the help of some confirmation from Near himself, that Matt wasn't the one that did this to the man, and that he in fact had done this to himself, for reasons unknown of course.

Near was placed on a stretcher and carried from the apartment. Matt didn't want to be in this hellish room for a moment longer than necessary so he waited outside beside the ambulance. As the door closed, he felt a sudden wave of anguish rush out of him. He needed to break down and let all the emotion out now that Near couldn't see him. He knew that his lover was never going to be the same again, and that while he got him back alive, what this man took from him can never be replaced.

Letting the last of his tears fall to the ground, he took a deep breath, bit his lower lip and got inside the ambulance to accompany Near to the hospital. Roger stayed behind to deal with the police. Roger had already put two and two together. He knew it was unlikely for the man to kill himself, especially at such a time and in such a violent way. But he only could say this for sure having known about the death note. He was convinced that this was Matt's doing, and that he'd used the book to both stop the man and exact this revenge at the same time. The police most certainly could not know this though. The death note had to remain a secret for the time being, and then destroyed when he could see to it.

Despite his age, Roger could be very good at coming up with a story at a moment's notice. The police had believed it for the time being. He'd convinced them that the man was probably suffering from schizophrenia and probably hadn't taken any medication for it in quite a while, probably since coming to the US. His motive was not ransom, but rather to torture and punish the person who defeated Kira before ending his own sorry life in a way that was sure to mentally scar his victim. It seemed reasonable enough for the police not to detain either one of them. Later fingerprinting would show that the knife was handled only by the deceased, leaving it a clear cut while bizarre case of suicide.

It was unlikely that Matt was going to let anyone detain him at this point, so it was a relief when they let him go as the EMT's were carrying Near out of the apartment on a stretcher. Matt followed them outside and watched as they prepared him for the trip. Firstly attaching an IV drip and inspecting him for any wounds that needed immediate treatment. Even the EMT's were sickened by seeing what had happened to Near, as Matt overheard things like "poor thing" and "He's a mess" echoing from inside the ambulance.

The adrenaline started to wear off, and Matt felt himself crashing, just from looking around at the whole scene around him. The ambulance, the bloody trail leading from the apartment, the police, and Roger himself, who seemed to be paler and more gaunt than usual. Matt hadn't considered how such a grotesque discovery might be affecting the elderly man. He'd considered Near and Matt as if they were sons of his. Yes indeed, Matt felt himself crashing as he sank to his knees and let it all out. All of the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, and the anger, flowing out of him in the form of tears and muffled whimpers. His shoulders shook as he sobbed over and over again.

Roger put a frail hand on his heaving back, and spoke softly to him.

"It's ok Matt. It's ok my boy. He'll be fine. It looks far worse than it is. It's ok, just let it out now, but then be done with it. He needs you to be strong for him. Finish up your crying and get inside that amublance to be with him. I'll deal with matters here."

Matt's crying slowed to a series of whimpers. He took several deep breaths, nodded, and shakily rose to his feet.

"Thank you Roger." Matt said, before walking towards the ambulance. "I'm coming with him." He said, climbing into the back.

It seemed the EMT's had cleaned a lot of the gore off of him in an attempt to check for injuries, and with that alone he looked much better, with the exception of his face which still seemed like a truck had hit it.

Near kept quiet for most of the journey. He was awake, just staring blankly at the ceiling, wincing occasonally when the ambulance hit a bump in the road. Matt was far calmer now, if anything stoic, letting the anger simmer slowly inside of him. He'd gotten his vengance and was only disappointed that he didn't make the bastard suffer nearly as much as his victim had. Matt well understood at this point that the road to recovery for Near was a long one. Not so much for his physical injuries which were yet to be determined, but mentally as well. He wanted him to be the same as he was, instead the constant fear and sleepless nights he was sure to encounter after this ordeal.

"Hey. Look at me." Matt said, Near hesitated for a moment before glancing over to Matt who was sitting beside him. The instant their eyes made contact, Near's narrowed slightly and a single, stray tear rolled down his temple. "We'll get through his ok? You just have to be strong and get better, and we'll work on the rest of you. I'm not going anywhere."

Near nodded, and for a brief moment it almost seemed as if he smiled before staring back up at the ceiling.

That first night in the hospital was the most difficult. Near had to kept subdued due to the pain affecting many different parts of him while Matt and Roger paced nervously in the ER waiting room. It was rather busy that night, but fortunately they had given Near priority. The waiting was killing him though. He tried watching TV but was unable to keep his attention focused, not that the show that was playing was much interest to him in the first place. He all but raided the vending machines, trying to munch on all sorts of crap to calm his nerves, and he even as a last resort tried the coffee, which was as awful as he expected it to be. Had Roger had not been there he probably would've been outside chain-smoking the whole time.

After a 2 hour or so wait, the ER nurses had decided to let them in. He was pretty much unconscious. He had tubes coming from his nose and his arms. Various wires for things Matt didn't even know the names for coming from under his hospital gown. He had tape and bandages on his face. His wrist was bound in a cast. He just simply looked pathetic.

The doctor had come by to read the final report. It turned out that Near had a fractured nose, one of his front teeth had been knocked loose, a broken wrist, 2 broken ribs, a mild concussion, and the one that made Matt the sickest, some tearing to his anus. Additionally he was severely malnourished, running a high fever and in danger of catching pneumonia since his immune system was compromised. Amongst the myraid tests they had done, one of them included an STD test to make sure the rapist hadn't given him anything.

The answer to the most important question Matt had was positive though.

"Doctor. Is he going to die?"

"No. It's pretty unlikely. He's young, and seemed healthy before all of this happened so I think he'll bounce back quickly. His mind however..."

The doctor had left them, and Matt sat down on a chair next to Near's bedside in the ICU. Roger had decided to go home, as he was quite exhausted. This was a lot for someone his age and Matt respected the need for him to go home and sleep. Matt however refused to leave and sat the whole long night by Near's side.

The police had come by to question Matt, but not aggressively. It didn't seem as if he was a suspect afterall since the security footage of their apartment building showed Matt leaving and entering at approximately the same the time as the murder had taken place. Since he could not have possibly been there, and the police had no knowledge of the Death Note. He was off the hook.

One week had gone by until the finally decided to sign Near's release papers. At long last he was going to go home. He'd been conscious since the day after he was admitted. He was quiet mostly, even for him. It's something Matt had expected, but aside from how he was less chatty than usual, he seemed to be trying to act as if nothing was wrong. Matt didn't want to push him any and just let him cope with things his own way for a while. He seemed to be dealing with the pain well, and seemed a bit bored if anything.

"Welcome home baby." Matt said as they entered the apartment together.

Matt was sure that finally being home was a comfort to Near as the boy immediately set to sitting on the floor and stacking his dominoes. His bruised face bore a blank expression. Whle Matt had wanted to let Near cope with it in his own way for a while, there was a burning quesiton he had to ask.

"Near. Why did you keep the Death Note?" Matt asked.

He didn't respond. It was as if Matt hadn't said anything at all.

"Near!" Matt raised his voice, although he didn't intend to.

Near stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Matt taking several seconds before responding.

"I was planning on using it one day."

"What?"

"As a last resort method. Should the world ever be so unfortunate enough to have another Death Note dropped into it, it would be the fastest method of exterminating it's owner once their identity is known to me. That's the reason."

"You should have told me."

"I didn't want to burden you with this knowledge. In fact I'm a bit disheartened that you had to resort to using it to save me." Near said.

"I'm just glad I found it. If I hadn't... he would've killed you." Matt said solemnly.

Near nodded.

"What should we do with it?" Matt asked.

"Put it back where you found it. I see no purpose in destroying it at this point just to satisy our own emotional needs or guilt."

He was so cold. Completely devoid of emotion as he had been in the past before him and Matt had become involved. He wondered if he would ever have back the Near he fell in love with.

Later that night, when it was time to go to sleep, Matt had layed down next to Near in the bed and gently wrapped his arms around him. Near's body went stiff, and Matt slackened his hold on him as a result.

"Matt please don't touch me." Near said.

"What? Why?" Matt asked in a somewhat pained voice.

"Listen. I'm not ready yet. I find being touched to be very disconcerting right now. Please let go. Try and put some distance between us." Near said.

Matt unsnaked his arms from Near's body and rolled over onto his side, away from Near. He felt the pools of tears flooding his eyes as his throat clenched. He didn't want to cry openly in front of Near. He didn't want to make him feel guilt, or moreover, seem needy in front of him. He bit hard on his lip as he tried to stop himself from sobbing. Near knew however, and it pained him deeply. He was going to try whatever it took to get back to normal, to feel comfortable in his own skin again.

"Matt."

"Yeah?" Matt replied, although it unintentionally sounded more like a pained whimper.

"I love you. That hasn't changed." Near replied.

Matt nodded, his the sound of his head shuffling against the pillow gave Near his confirmation. Matt squeezed his eyes shut knowing that one day, everything was going to be okay.


End file.
